December 29, 2021

Courting Father Christmas


Courting Father Christmas

“Since I am also a lawyer, I can act as an attorney for Father Christmas, and remind the plaintiff that Father Christmas fulfills wishes and gives gifts only to good girls and boys. Let him analyze his behavior and, perhaps, find something that has prevented Father Christmas from presenting him with gifts for the New Year holidays. This will be the main line of defense."

– Russian President Vladimir Putin

St. Petersburg lawyer Igor Mirzoev, frustrated that none of his dreams have come true by age 37, brought charges against Father Christmas this year. By Mirzoev’s account, Father Christmas is to be blamed for failing to fulfill his holiday duties for the past 23 years. Since perhaps 1998, Mirzoev has not found presents under the Christmas tree. He never got the apartment he dreamed of, nor a car, a country house, or a trip around the world. Mirzoev demands 10 million rubles in compensation.

On December 23, President Vladimir Putin stepped in during a broadcast on Russia’s Channel One to vindicate Mr. Christmas. By Putin’s reckoning, Mirzoev may have some skeletons to dig out of his holiday closet along with his seasonal decorations. Only a fair trial will tell!  

 

 

 

 

 

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