December 20, 2011

6 Things Russian Babushkas Disapprove Of


6 Things Russian Babushkas Disapprove Of

What comes to mind when you think of a Russian national icon? Vodka, matryoshkas, and bears are frequently mentioned. Fyodor Dostoyevsky, a writer, and Alla Pugacheva, a singer, get quite a few votes as well, and so does Cheburashka, a beloved cartoon hero.

Surprisingly few people, including Russians themselves, mention babushkas, the omnipresent grandmothers in head scarves. Yet they keep many of the traditional values and beliefs alive, always at the ready to set us straight when we, their children and grandchildren, get off track.

So what are some of the things you can do that will get you a disapproving head shake, a displeased tut-tut, or a beseeching word from these gentle guardians of all that’s proper?

1. Eating on the go

Even before Western fast food chains opened in Russia, Russians had their own fast food establishments which served sandwiches, fried pierogi, and other food of convenience. Such “dry cold food” eating (there’s actually a word in Russian for this - всухомятку) has always been deemed unhealthy by grandmothers. They tirelessly remind us that such recklessness leads to vitamin deficiencies, stomach aches, and ultimately, ulcers. Ты себе язву желудка заработаешь (you will get yourself an ulcer) they say and the doctors agree.

2. Not staying long enough for tea

Russian tea ceremony is a measure of friendship and acceptance between people. You don’t have to be friends with someone to drink vodka with them. But to be invited into a Russian home for tea is a different story. The informal way of inviting to tea - заходи, чайку попьём(drop by for a little tea) - both masks and underscores the intimacy of the affair. Taking an early leave is seen as impolite, especially if done repeatedly. С ними и чайку-то не попьешь по-человечески (can’t even drink tea with them normally) would say babushkas and shake their heads disapprovingly.

3. Not dressing warmly enough

Dressing for the weather means different things to Russians than it does to Americans. It means putting on layers of very warm and bulky clothing based on what the calendar says, not what the thermometer shows. If the calendar says it’s December, you better put on a hat and a scarf unless you live in the Deep South. Otherwise you will catch a cold that will lead to severe complications, including bronchitis, meningitis, pneumonia, and inability to have children later in life. Застудишься - намучаешься (you will freeze and suffer), babushkas warn us.

The most important areas to cover are your head, neck, chest, stomach, buttocks, legs and feet. If you don’t have that many warm clothes, then at least take care of your ears, neck and feet. Do that and babushkas will surely mention you as a shining example of someone who is одет по погоде(dressed according to the weather).

4. Not taking shoes off

When you walk into a Russian home, the very first thing you must do, right after greeting the host, is to take off your footwear. Nothing, not even your accent, will brand you as a foreigner faster than keeping your shoes on inside. So surrender your high heels, put on тапочки (house slippers) and shuffle off to the kitchen for tea. If you are puzzled by this custom, you will be explained that it is done чтобы уличную грязь по дому не разносить (so that dirt from the street doesn’t spread through the house).

5. Not sitting in a chair

Children and rebellious youths are the only ones who sit on desks, tables, floor and other surfaces that are not built specifically for sitting on. They also get scolded for such inappropriate behavior. As an adult and a foreigner, you will be excused, but considered, well… an American. Ну что с них взять, с американцев (what can you do, these are Americans) sigh babushkas.

6. Not being formal

Remember, Russians have two forms of “you” - a formal Вы and an informal ты. If you are not sure which one to use, use the formal “you”. In fact, wait until your Russian acquaintance asks you for the permission to address you with an informal “you” before switching to it yourself - давайте перейдём на «ты» (let’s switch to the informal “you”). Same applies to names. A polite way of addressing an adult in Russia is by using their first name and patronymic.

So dress warmly, eat soup daily, don’t leave until you drink at least a couple of cups of tea, surrender your shoes at the door, don’t sit on an armrest or a windowsill, and address your hosts with a formal “you.” Do all that, and, as the door closes behind you on your way out, you will be forever thought of as культурный человек (a civilized person).



Yelena McManaman grew up in Volgograd, Russia before moving to the US. Currently residing in North Carolina, she never misses an opportunity to invite friends for tea and stays up late reading Russian books. She writes about learning Russian and culture for Transparent Language’s Russian blog, one of 27 language blogs offered to help learners add a dose of culture to their studies. 


Photo credit: ©  Dmytro Surkov | Dreamstime.com

Like this post? Get a weekly email digest + member-only deals

Some of Our Books

Moscow and Muscovites

Moscow and Muscovites

Vladimir Gilyarovsky's classic portrait of the Russian capital is one of Russians’ most beloved books. Yet it has never before been translated into English. Until now! It is a spectactular verbal pastiche: conversation, from gutter gibberish to the drawing room; oratory, from illiterates to aristocrats; prose, from boilerplate to Tolstoy; poetry, from earthy humor to Pushkin. 
Maria's War: A Soldier's Autobiography

Maria's War: A Soldier's Autobiography

This astonishingly gripping autobiography by the founder of the Russian Women’s Death Battallion in World War I is an eye-opening documentary of life before, during and after the Bolshevik Revolution.
The Frogs Who Begged for a Tsar (bilingual)

The Frogs Who Begged for a Tsar (bilingual)

The fables of Ivan Krylov are rich fonts of Russian cultural wisdom and experience – reading and understanding them is vital to grasping the Russian worldview. This new edition of 62 of Krylov’s tales presents them side-by-side in English and Russian. The wonderfully lyrical translations by Lydia Razran Stone are accompanied by original, whimsical color illustrations by Katya Korobkina.
Fearful Majesty

Fearful Majesty

This acclaimed biography of one of Russia’s most important and tyrannical rulers is not only a rich, readable biography, it is also surprisingly timely, revealing how many of the issues Russia faces today have their roots in Ivan’s reign.
The Latchkey Murders

The Latchkey Murders

Senior Lieutenant Pavel Matyushkin is back on the case in this prequel to the popular mystery Murder at the Dacha, in which a serial killer is on the loose in Khrushchev’s Moscow...
Dostoyevsky Bilingual

Dostoyevsky Bilingual

Bilingual series of short, lesser known, but highly significant works that show the traditional view of Dostoyevsky as a dour, intense, philosophical writer to be unnecessarily one-sided. 
Murder and the Muse

Murder and the Muse

KGB Chief Andropov has tapped Matyushkin to solve a brazen jewel heist from Picasso’s wife at the posh Metropole Hotel. But when the case bleeds over into murder, machinations, and international intrigue, not everyone is eager to see where the clues might lead.
Russian Rules

Russian Rules

From the shores of the White Sea to Moscow and the Northern Caucasus, Russian Rules is a high-speed thriller based on actual events, terrifying possibilities, and some really stupid decisions.
Steppe / Степь (bilingual)

Steppe / Степь (bilingual)

This is the work that made Chekhov, launching his career as a writer and playwright of national and international renown. Retranslated and updated, this new bilingual edition is a super way to improve your Russian.
The Pet Hawk of the House of Abbas

The Pet Hawk of the House of Abbas

This exciting new trilogy by a Russian author – who has been compared to Orhan Pamuk and Umberto Eco – vividly recreates a lost world, yet its passions and characters are entirely relevant to the present day. Full of mystery, memorable characters, and non-stop adventure, The Pet Hawk of the House of Abbas is a must read for lovers of historical fiction and international thrillers.  

About Us

Russian Life is a publication of a 30-year-young, award-winning publishing house that creates a bimonthly magazine, books, maps, and other products for Russophiles the world over.

Latest Posts

Our Contacts

Russian Life
73 Main Street, Suite 402
Montpelier VT 05602

802-223-4955