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This week, Putin gets a cool new birthday present; an official broadcasts his workout regimen; and strange sediment puzzles scientists.

“You see, this is all the food industry. Unfortunately, the food industry is killing us on par with tobacco.”

– Doctor and TV presenter Alexander Myasnikov, on the common mistakes people make when they’re trying to eat right

“This is a special lightweight shoe, which is currently the lightest possible in the world, so that there is no additional load (when it is delivered to orbit).”

– Press release from Faradei shoe company, which recently developed a special shoe for astronauts

In disappointing-but-not-altogether-unexpected news, a prominent Kremlin critic gets hit with tea-borne poisoning.

This week, drivers' licenses get a much-overdue update, utility bills make headlines, and we learn that pirates abound in Russia. 

The Kremlin said that the president's dirty laundry is not for sale on the internet.

This year's Victory Day parade was a sight to behold⁠— and we might be seeing its effects for the next 16 years.

If Russia has its way, German history students could be reading a new article by none other than the president himself.