August 01, 2019

The Road to Nowhere


The Road to Nowhere
Oh the melon-choly the driver must feel! gbdd121 | Instagram

Quote of the Week

“We always stop cars with cut watermelons on the roof. As it turns out, not in vain.”

– Road police in Chuvashiya after catching a drunk driver

 

Green, Eggs, and Fans

DiCaprio as a Russian imperial general
DiCaprio? That won’t do. How about Dekaprov? / Ves_ulan_ude_ | Instagram

1. Russians are begging an environmental big fish, Leonardo DiCaprio, to save a lake. The actor has an entire foundation dedicated to fighting climate change, so Russians thought he might be able to divert attention for a moment to another environmental issue: Lake Baikal, which is under threat. In case that’s not enough justification, he has a Russian babushka. And blood is thicker than water, so… DiCaprio should pay attention to the world’s largest, deepest, and oldest body of fresh water. 

He hasn’t yet, but he did post on Instagram (with dozens of comments from thankful Russians) about the unprecedentedly large fires happening now across five regions of Siberia, destroying Russian forests, emitting greenhouse gases, and threatening the Arctic.

2. A former St. Petersburg official was convicted of letting himself be buttered up. Meaning, he accepted bribes from illegal street vendors in the form of not just cash, but also eggs and butter, and allegedly honey as well. For some reason, the official won’t admit to the honey, even though the $11 jar probably won’t make any difference in this sticky situation. He was fined over $10,000. This is clearly not the way to get to the Land of Milk Products and Honey

3. Ukrainians say there is a threatening green light shining on them from the Russian side of the Azov Sea, and President Zelensky’s military (cough, zeleny means green in both Ukrainian and Russian, albeit slightly different pronunciation and spelling) isn’t happy about it. Russians say that’s impossible, or perhaps an optical illusion. We Americans say it sounds a lot like an Eastern European (egro, opposite) version of The Great Gatsby

 

In Odder News

  • A man in St. Petersburg was sent to a mental hospital for trying to sell passports of the Kingdom of ASPI. Which doesn’t exist. 
  • Russia will have official roads made of ice and snow. Don’t salt these ones please. 
  • The mayor of a town in the Far East gave citizens buckets of paint as part of the campaign “colorful houses.” 
Colorful houses in the Far East
Lending color to a neighborhood, literally. / The Government of Amurskaya Oblast

 

Thanks to David Edwards for a story tip!

Want more where this comes from? Give your inbox the gift of TWERF, our Thursday newsletter on the quirkiest, obscurest, and Russianest of Russian happenings of the week.
 

Like this post? Get a weekly email digest + member-only deals

Some of Our Books

The Frogs Who Begged for a Tsar (bilingual)

The Frogs Who Begged for a Tsar (bilingual)

The fables of Ivan Krylov are rich fonts of Russian cultural wisdom and experience – reading and understanding them is vital to grasping the Russian worldview. This new edition of 62 of Krylov’s tales presents them side-by-side in English and Russian. The wonderfully lyrical translations by Lydia Razran Stone are accompanied by original, whimsical color illustrations by Katya Korobkina.
Turgenev Bilingual

Turgenev Bilingual

A sampling of Ivan Turgenev's masterful short stories, plays, novellas and novels. Bilingual, with English and accented Russian texts running side by side on adjoining pages.
Chekhov Bilingual

Chekhov Bilingual

Some of Chekhov's most beloved stories, with English and accented Russian on facing pages throughout. 
Murder and the Muse

Murder and the Muse

KGB Chief Andropov has tapped Matyushkin to solve a brazen jewel heist from Picasso’s wife at the posh Metropole Hotel. But when the case bleeds over into murder, machinations, and international intrigue, not everyone is eager to see where the clues might lead.
A Taste of Russia

A Taste of Russia

The definitive modern cookbook on Russian cuisine has been totally updated and redesigned in a 30th Anniversary Edition. Layering superbly researched recipes with informative essays on the dishes' rich historical and cultural context, A Taste of Russia includes over 200 recipes on everything from borshch to blini, from Salmon Coulibiac to Beef Stew with Rum, from Marinated Mushrooms to Walnut-honey Filled Pies. A Taste of Russia shows off the best that Russian cooking has to offer. Full of great quotes from Russian literature about Russian food and designed in a convenient wide format that stays open during use.
The Little Golden Calf

The Little Golden Calf

Our edition of The Little Golden Calf, one of the greatest Russian satires ever, is the first new translation of this classic novel in nearly fifty years. It is also the first unabridged, uncensored English translation ever, and is 100% true to the original 1931 serial publication in the Russian journal 30 Dnei. Anne O. Fisher’s translation is copiously annotated, and includes an introduction by Alexandra Ilf, the daughter of one of the book’s two co-authors.
Moscow and Muscovites

Moscow and Muscovites

Vladimir Gilyarovsky's classic portrait of the Russian capital is one of Russians’ most beloved books. Yet it has never before been translated into English. Until now! It is a spectactular verbal pastiche: conversation, from gutter gibberish to the drawing room; oratory, from illiterates to aristocrats; prose, from boilerplate to Tolstoy; poetry, from earthy humor to Pushkin. 
Okudzhava Bilingual

Okudzhava Bilingual

Poems, songs and autobiographical sketches by Bulat Okudzhava, the king of the Russian bards. 
Faith & Humor: Notes from Muscovy

Faith & Humor: Notes from Muscovy

A book that dares to explore the humanity of priests and pilgrims, saints and sinners, Faith & Humor has been both a runaway bestseller in Russia and the focus of heated controversy – as often happens when a thoughtful writer takes on sacred cows. The stories, aphorisms, anecdotes, dialogues and adventures in this volume comprise an encyclopedia of modern Russian Orthodoxy, and thereby of Russian life.
Jews in Service to the Tsar

Jews in Service to the Tsar

Benjamin Disraeli advised, “Read no history: nothing but biography, for that is life without theory.” With Jews in Service to the Tsar, Lev Berdnikov offers us 28 biographies spanning five centuries of Russian Jewish history, and each portrait opens a new window onto the history of Eastern Europe’s Jews, illuminating dark corners and challenging widely-held conceptions about the role of Jews in Russian history.
The Samovar Murders

The Samovar Murders

The murder of a poet is always more than a murder. When a famous writer is brutally stabbed on the campus of Moscow’s Lumumba University, the son of a recently deposed African president confesses, and the case assumes political implications that no one wants any part of.
How Russia Got That Way

How Russia Got That Way

A fast-paced crash course in Russian history, from Norsemen to Navalny, that explores the ways the Kremlin uses history to achieve its ends.

About Us

Russian Life is a publication of a 30-year-young, award-winning publishing house that creates a bimonthly magazine, books, maps, and other products for Russophiles the world over.

Latest Posts

Our Contacts

Russian Life
73 Main Street, Suite 402
Montpelier VT 05602

802-223-4955