January 26, 2022

Marriage is No Laughing Matter


Marriage is No Laughing Matter
The happiest day of your life isn't something to laugh about. Image from Russian Life

This week, a new law in the Rostov Oblast seeks to end laughter during wedding ceremonies. Not only is laughter during a wedding now against the law, but it also includes limitations on talking loudly and talking excitedly. 

Also, be sure to clean your dirty shoes, hang up your coat, and leave behind your backpack or any other larger bags you might be carrying before entering the ceremony, as all of these could get you in trouble. Don't forget to have a snack before arrival, as you are not allowed to eat once you get there, and it would also be a good idea to stow away the celebratory bottle of vodka and pack of cigarettes: drinking and smoking are included within the new law. 

While it may be very tempting, you absolutely must remember to abstain from rearranging the furniture: this counts as violating the composition of the room! Luckily, the ceremony is limited to 40 minutes and the law doesn't have any issues with crying, so you don't have to hold yourself back for too long. 

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Vladimir Gilyarovsky's classic portrait of the Russian capital is one of Russians’ most beloved books. Yet it has never before been translated into English. Until now! It is a spectactular verbal pastiche: conversation, from gutter gibberish to the drawing room; oratory, from illiterates to aristocrats; prose, from boilerplate to Tolstoy; poetry, from earthy humor to Pushkin. 

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