July 20, 2021

Doses Down the Drain


Doses Down the Drain
Who knew there was so much money in the fear of needles? The Russian Life files.

While no one really loves getting vaccinations, it's probably a good idea to get them. They even have "light" options if you're watching your caloric intake (not really). But apparently, there's money to be had by faking it when people really, really don't like needles.

A Kaliningrad clinic employee is in custody and under investigation after it was discovered that she was selling completed, certified COVID vaccination cards to locals who wanted to avoid the actual thing. She is charged with forging twenty sets of documents, which all purported that paid customers of hers were fully vaccinated.

Her defense was that she was simply "providing an unofficial service" by "vaccinating without injections," pouring the vaccines down the sink, presumably to boost the immunity of the sewer alligators. It just so happens that this selfless public service for the reptiles also conveniently destroyed evidence of her crime.

If only her patrons knew what doctors recommend for post-vaccination activities.

You Might Also Like

Sputnik V: First Place or Long Shot?
  • March 01, 2021

Sputnik V: First Place or Long Shot?

The Russia vaccine seems top-notch, but low public trust and a botched rollout remain formidable barriers to returning to normalcy.
The Right Dosage
  • July 14, 2021

The Right Dosage

“Sex after administration of the vaccine does not cause any side effects in people of any age. As a matter of fact, sexual activity provides a lot of satisfaction and pleasure. People’s fears go away, as sex 'turns off' the head and relieves stress.” – Sexologist sexologist Andrei Lygachin, refuting the idea that individuals should avoid sex after being vaccinated against COVID-19.
Nice and Refreshing
  • June 30, 2021

Nice and Refreshing

Russia announces "Sputnik Light," the not-actually-low-cal version of their Sputnik V vaccine.
Query
Template: /muraWRM/core/mura/content/feed/feedGateway.cfc:250
Execution Time: 0.962 ms
Record Count: 0
Cached: No
Lazy: No
SQL:
SELECT
tcontent.siteid, tcontent.title, tcontent.menutitle, tcontent.restricted, tcontent.restrictgroups,
tcontent.type, tcontent.subType, tcontent.filename, tcontent.displaystart, tcontent.displaystop,
tcontent.remotesource, tcontent.remoteURL,tcontent.remotesourceURL, tcontent.keypoints,
tcontent.contentID, tcontent.parentID, tcontent.approved, tcontent.isLocked, tcontent.contentHistID,tcontent.target, tcontent.targetParams,
tcontent.releaseDate, tcontent.lastupdate,tcontent.summary,
tfiles.fileSize,tfiles.fileExt,tcontent.fileid,
tcontent.tags,tcontent.credits,tcontent.audience, tcontent.orderNo,
tcontentstats.rating,tcontentstats.totalVotes,tcontentstats.downVotes,tcontentstats.upVotes,
tcontentstats.comments, tparent.type parentType,
tcontent.path, tcontent.created, tcontent.nextn, tcontent.majorVersion, tcontent.minorVersion, tcontentstats.lockID, tcontentstats.lockType, tcontent.expires,
tfiles.filename as AssocFilename,tcontent.displayInterval,tcontent.display,tcontentfilemetadata.altText as fileAltText,tcontent.changesetid
FROM
tcontent
left Join tfiles on (tcontent.fileid=tfiles.fileid)
left Join tcontentstats on (tcontent.contentid=tcontentstats.contentid
and tcontent.siteid=tcontentstats.siteid)
Left Join tcontent tparent on (tcontent.parentid=tparent.contentid
and tcontent.siteid=tparent.siteid
and tparent.active=1)
Left Join tcontentfilemetadata on (tcontent.fileid=tcontentfilemetadata.fileid
and tcontent.contenthistid=tcontentfilemetadata.contenthistid
and tcontent.siteid=tcontentfilemetadata.siteid)
WHERE
tcontent.siteid in ('default')
and tcontent.active = 1
and tcontent.Approved = 1
AND tcontent.isNav = 1
AND tcontent.moduleid = '00000000000000000000000000000000000'
AND tcontent.searchExclude = 0
AND tcontent.contentid <> '00000000000000000000000000000000001'
AND tcontent.type <>'Module'
and (
tcontent.parentid
=
'21657811-8368-4605-8FC21B7275867571'
and
tcontent.subtype
=
'footnote'
)
AND (
tcontent.Display = 1
OR
(
tcontent.Display = 2
AND
(
(
tparent.type!='Calendar'
and tcontent.DisplayStart <=
{ts '2026-04-02 13:35:00'}
and (tcontent.DisplayStop >=
{ts '2026-04-02 13:35:00'} or tcontent.DisplayStop is null)
) OR (
tparent.type='Calendar'
and tcontent.DisplayStart <=
{ts '2027-04-02 13:35:00'}
and (tcontent.DisplayStop >=
{ts '2026-04-02 13:35:00'} or tcontent.DisplayStop is null)
)
)
)
)
AND (
tcontent.mobileExclude is null
OR
tcontent.mobileExclude in (0,1)
)
order by
tcontent.lastUpdate desc
siteidtitlemenutitlerestrictedrestrictgroupstypesubTypefilenamedisplaystartdisplaystopremotesourceremoteURLremotesourceURLkeypointscontentIDparentIDapprovedisLockedcontentHistIDtargettargetParamsreleaseDatelastupdatesummaryfileSizefileExtfileidtagscreditsaudienceorderNoratingtotalVotesdownVotesupVotescommentsparentTypepathcreatednextnmajorVersionminorVersionlockIDlockTypeexpiresAssocFilenamedisplayIntervaldisplayfileAltTextchangesetid
Like this post? Get a weekly email digest + member-only deals

Some of our Books

Davai! The Russians and Their Vodka
November 01, 2012

Davai! The Russians and Their Vodka

In this comprehensive, quixotic and addictive book, Edwin Trommelen explores all facets of the Russian obsession with vodka. Peering chiefly through the lenses of history and literature, Trommelen offers up an appropriately complex, rich and bittersweet portrait, based on great respect for Russian culture.

Bears in the Caviar
May 01, 2015

Bears in the Caviar

Bears in the Caviar is a hilarious and insightful memoir by a diplomat who was “present at the creation” of US-Soviet relations. Charles Thayer headed off to Russia in 1933, calculating that if he could just learn Russian and be on the spot when the US and USSR established relations, he could make himself indispensable and start a career in the foreign service. Remarkably, he pulled it of.

The Samovar Murders
November 01, 2019

The Samovar Murders

The murder of a poet is always more than a murder. When a famous writer is brutally stabbed on the campus of Moscow’s Lumumba University, the son of a recently deposed African president confesses, and the case assumes political implications that no one wants any part of.

White Magic
June 01, 2021

White Magic

The thirteen tales in this volume – all written by Russian émigrés, writers who fled their native country in the early twentieth century – contain a fair dose of magic and mysticism, of terror and the supernatural. There are Petersburg revenants, grief-stricken avengers, Lithuanian vampires, flying skeletons, murders and duels, and even a ghostly Edgar Allen Poe.

The Little Humpbacked Horse
November 03, 2014

The Little Humpbacked Horse

A beloved Russian classic about a resourceful Russian peasant, Vanya, and his miracle-working horse, who together undergo various trials, exploits and adventures at the whim of a laughable tsar, told in rich, narrative poetry.

A Taste of Chekhov
December 24, 2022

A Taste of Chekhov

This compact volume is an introduction to the works of Chekhov the master storyteller, via nine stories spanning the last twenty years of his life.

A Taste of Russia
November 01, 2012

A Taste of Russia

The definitive modern cookbook on Russian cuisine has been totally updated and redesigned in a 30th Anniversary Edition. Layering superbly researched recipes with informative essays on the dishes' rich historical and cultural context, A Taste of Russia includes over 200 recipes on everything from borshch to blini, from Salmon Coulibiac to Beef Stew with Rum, from Marinated Mushrooms to Walnut-honey Filled Pies. A Taste of Russia shows off the best that Russian cooking has to offer. Full of great quotes from Russian literature about Russian food and designed in a convenient wide format that stays open during use.

Faith & Humor
December 01, 2011

Faith & Humor

A book that dares to explore the humanity of priests and pilgrims, saints and sinners, Faith & Humor has been both a runaway bestseller in Russia and the focus of heated controversy – as often happens when a thoughtful writer takes on sacred cows. The stories, aphorisms, anecdotes, dialogues and adventures in this volume comprise an encyclopedia of modern Russian Orthodoxy, and thereby of Russian life.

At the Circus
January 01, 2013

At the Circus

This wonderful novella by Alexander Kuprin tells the story of the wrestler Arbuzov and his battle against a renowned American wrestler. Rich in detail and characterization, At the Circus brims with excitement and life. You can smell the sawdust in the big top, see the vivid and colorful characters, sense the tension build as Arbuzov readies to face off against the American.

About Us

Russian Life is a publication of a 30-year-young, award-winning publishing house that creates a bimonthly magazine, books, maps, and other products for Russophiles the world over.

Latest Posts

Our Contacts

Russian Life
73 Main Street, Suite 402
Montpelier VT 05602

802-223-4955