Nov/Dec 2018 Current Moscow Time: 19:01:19
13 November 2018


  The world’s biggest country, in a magazine. Since 1956.


Thursday, August 09, 2018

Crime Doesn't Pay

by Irina Bukharin
A Pension-t for Trouble

1. A pension fund office in Kaluga was bombed early Friday morning. The bombing followed the government’s unpopular decision to raise the pension age for both men and women, an act that has sparked protests across the country. Preliminary reports suggest that the blast was caused by standard ammunition, not a homemade explosive device. In true Russian spirit, the Kaluga pension fund office was still open for business on Friday.

2. A cat in the clink! One intrepid feline was found attempting to carry drugs (hashish and amphetamines) into a prison in the Tula region. To be fair to our maligned cat, police believe that two recent inmates of the prison used the cat to smuggle the drugs into the prison, and that it was not actually the cat’s idea. The theory is that the inmates put the drugs into a collar on the cat, which had also formerly lived at the prison. The cat was then supposed to return home, delivering the drugs to the prisoners. We hope that the cat will get a “get out of jail free” card, but it seems the culprits may not: they face up to 10 years in prison for their less than purrrfect crime.

3. One man in St. Petersburg has gone off the rails. Or rather, the rails have gone off thanks to him. Police detained a man who reportedly stole 275 metric tons of train track rails over the past month. A local news website estimated that this much track is worth 5 million rubles ($79,000). So which will come first, this man’s life turning into a train wreck or an actual train wreck? Only time will tell.

In Odder News:

 

 
Quote of the Day:

“The woebegone mechanic dismantled more than 275 metric tons of metal products with a wrench and a crowbar”

— St. Petersburg transport police

Want more where this comes from? Give your inbox the gift of TWERF, our Thursday newsletter on the quirkiest, obscurest, and Russianest of Russian happenings of the week.

The spy who stayed out in the cold
The spy who stayed out in the cold

Some people see spies everywhere. Other people just see dumpsters, birds, snow, dogs, boars, or artists seeking political asylum. (That's at least 4 separate stories).

Bacon, comics, and fairy tales on ice
Bacon, comics, and fairy tales on ice

Adapting to life in Russia? Comic books. Craving cuteness? Piglets getting saved from a fire. Not Russian enough for you? Ice swimming. And for good measure, zombies. 

Blogging Bears, Ivan the Terrible Rapper, and a Blob
Blogging Bears, Ivan the Terrible Rapper, and a Blob

A polar bear travels the world, a historian serves up the Rhyme of Troubles, the Kremlin gets a new alien, and Presidents Putin and Trump get along by the skin of their teeth. 

Buddha in a blizzard, tsar in the tropics
Buddha in a blizzard, tsar in the tropics

A Buddhist monastery in the mountains fights one millionaire, and Kiribati's islands welcome another one. There's also exorcism, the Facebook of 1917, and general happiness. 

The Kremlin on Ice
The Kremlin on Ice

Convicts carve up the Kremlin, an assassin wins a prize, and governors drop like flies. Actually, that all sounds a lot worse than what happened. Find out for yourself. 

100 Years Ago, In a Monarchy Far, Far Away...
100 Years Ago, In a Monarchy Far, Far Away

Exactly 100 years ago, on February 23, 1917, the Russian Revolution began. And once you've learned about that, there's space, WWII reenactments, and a portal back to medieval times. 

Cats, droids, and acrobatic rock & roll
Cats, droids, and acrobatic rock & roll

A friendly robot graces the metro and a politically charged (and financed) dance studio gets footloose thanks to the youngest Putin. Also, happy World Cat Day!

Say no to discrimination, ducks, and hugs
Say no to discrimination, ducks, and hugs

International Women's Day was celebrated by marches, flowers, and flash mobs. In other news, Russia and China are BFFs, and Prime Minister Medvedev likes ducks.