November 03, 2020

The Emperor Has No Clothes


The Emperor Has No Clothes
No, this isn't the naked photo you're looking for. Public domain

Russian emperors: they're just like us, butts and all.

In case you were in doubt about monarchs' humanity, take a gander at these recently-resurfaced photos of Nicholas II enjoying a skinny-dip on the Finnish coast in 1912.

The Moscow Times reports that digital photo colorist Marina Amaral came across the images while working on a recent project. Since tweeting out her salacious findings, the photos have spread throughout cyberspace.

Many have commented on Nicholas' physique, which is impressive even by 21st-century standards; if nothing else, these photos should serve as motivation for your morning workout.

Our hope is that the photos are soon colorized, so we can giggle at them in even more realistic glory. See them for yourself here, if the idea of looking at Romanov ass-cheeks is appealing to you (which it definitely is, of course).

 

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Fish

This mesmerizing novel from one of Russia’s most important modern authors traces the life journey of a selfless Russian everywoman. In the wake of the Soviet breakup, inexorable forces drag Vera across the breadth of the Russian empire. Facing a relentless onslaught of human and social trials, she swims against the current of life, countering adversity and pain with compassion and hope, in many ways personifying Mother Russia’s torment and resilience amid the Soviet disintegration.

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Vladimir Gilyarovsky's classic portrait of the Russian capital is one of Russians’ most beloved books. Yet it has never before been translated into English. Until now! It is a spectactular verbal pastiche: conversation, from gutter gibberish to the drawing room; oratory, from illiterates to aristocrats; prose, from boilerplate to Tolstoy; poetry, from earthy humor to Pushkin. 

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