October 17, 2013

RuNet: The Silly and the Serious


RuNet: The Silly and the Serious

Fall is here! And what has Russian Internet been up to?

Much as was the case last month, Russian bloggers are travelling, sightseeing, writing, sharing. One Sergei Nikitskiy, for example, just put up photos of his cruise in the Volga watershed (an approximate map of his route can be found here). He may not be a professional photographer, but his photos manage to capture the eclectic, at times faded and dilapidated, but always unique Russian landscape, both urban and natural. And the most telling sign that this is Russia? The boat he was on was the Karl Marx.

Meanwhile, some denizens of RuNet have been asking some strange questions – and receiving even stranger answers:

ukrop21
By the way, do you know when we’ll start bombing the US already? We’ve produced enough plutonium & uranium, about time we got started.

Beria lavrentiy
As the nuclear project manager, I can answer you with complete authority: we’ll start bombing as soon as we freshen the nip. All hail the CPSU!

Satire alert! This is but one example in a long exchange of “forum posts” in which Russians present themselves exactly as Westerners supposedly see them – radical communists, vodka drinkers, balalaika players, bear tamers, and owners of personal nuclear arsenals:

 

FreemanOnly
Comrades! Here in Siberia we had a warm spell yesterday (-40 F), so I decided to plow up the garden in my courtyard. Meanwhile, my wife Dunya was playing on the balalaika and dancing “barynya” (I find it’s easier to work that way). Long story short, I got carried away and lost my vodka ration cards, and they won’t give us new ones for another month! Can anyone who’s had this problem give me a hint – how did you deal with it?

 

Lev Sergeevich
Yesterday the traffic police stopped me on my bear. They seemed to think I was sober. So I had to prove to them I was drunk by drinking 11 bottles of vodka with them, so that they wouldn’t revoke my license for sobriety.

 

Vadim Gerasimov
Comrades, have some restraint! Here at the KGB we don’t have the time to go out and delegate firing squads for everyone. Could anyone who has harmed a bear in any way please come visit us in the Lubyanka to be shot? By the way, does anyone know if it’s true that starting Monday they’re going to start shutting off the hot vodka in apartments?

 

Ura Buera
I just got back from work […] But here’s the thing. I got my paycheck in rubles instead of vodka rations. I glued them onto my reactor and admired my own work. The reactor looks so nice with the Leader’s face on it, but I really do want some vodka. Comrades, can anyone tell me what to do with rubles? Can I exchange them for vodka rations?

 

ironminer
Comrades! Today I was strolling by the Iron Curtain, and heard non-Russian speech on the other side. How can this be? Are we not alone in this world?

The whole list (in Russian) can be found here.

With all that silliness, let’s not forget the serious side of things! Politically, the internet community has been preoccupied with a recent pronouncement by Valentina Matvienko, suggesting a return of the “against all” (protiv vsekh) option in elections, last seen on ballots in 2006. Reactions range from touching stories of how the option saved elections in the past to how it’s just a power play by the ruling party, to reasoned analysis of how it may affect voting patterns. (Plus, with typical Internet creativity, even the level-headed analysis includes the wonderful neologism vredinorossy, a portmanteau of vred ‘harm’ and edinorossy ‘members of United Russia.’) So silly or serious, there’s always something to be found on RuNet!


Photo credit: Wikimedia Commons. Translations by Eugenia Sokolskaya.

Like this post? Get a weekly email digest + member-only deals

Some of Our Books

Steppe / Степь (bilingual)

Steppe / Степь (bilingual)

This is the work that made Chekhov, launching his career as a writer and playwright of national and international renown. Retranslated and updated, this new bilingual edition is a super way to improve your Russian.
Murder and the Muse

Murder and the Muse

KGB Chief Andropov has tapped Matyushkin to solve a brazen jewel heist from Picasso’s wife at the posh Metropole Hotel. But when the case bleeds over into murder, machinations, and international intrigue, not everyone is eager to see where the clues might lead.
Murder at the Dacha

Murder at the Dacha

Senior Lieutenant Pavel Matyushkin has a problem. Several, actually. Not the least of them is the fact that a powerful Soviet boss has been murdered, and Matyushkin's surly commander has given him an unreasonably short time frame to close the case.
Jews in Service to the Tsar

Jews in Service to the Tsar

Benjamin Disraeli advised, “Read no history: nothing but biography, for that is life without theory.” With Jews in Service to the Tsar, Lev Berdnikov offers us 28 biographies spanning five centuries of Russian Jewish history, and each portrait opens a new window onto the history of Eastern Europe’s Jews, illuminating dark corners and challenging widely-held conceptions about the role of Jews in Russian history.
Turgenev Bilingual

Turgenev Bilingual

A sampling of Ivan Turgenev's masterful short stories, plays, novellas and novels. Bilingual, with English and accented Russian texts running side by side on adjoining pages.
The Little Humpbacked Horse (bilingual)

The Little Humpbacked Horse (bilingual)

A beloved Russian classic about a resourceful Russian peasant, Vanya, and his miracle-working horse, who together undergo various trials, exploits and adventures at the whim of a laughable tsar, told in rich, narrative poetry.
A Taste of Chekhov

A Taste of Chekhov

This compact volume is an introduction to the works of Chekhov the master storyteller, via nine stories spanning the last twenty years of his life.
Russian Rules

Russian Rules

From the shores of the White Sea to Moscow and the Northern Caucasus, Russian Rules is a high-speed thriller based on actual events, terrifying possibilities, and some really stupid decisions.
Chekhov Bilingual

Chekhov Bilingual

Some of Chekhov's most beloved stories, with English and accented Russian on facing pages throughout. 
How Russia Got That Way

How Russia Got That Way

A fast-paced crash course in Russian history, from Norsemen to Navalny, that explores the ways the Kremlin uses history to achieve its ends.

About Us

Russian Life is a publication of a 30-year-young, award-winning publishing house that creates a bimonthly magazine, books, maps, and other products for Russophiles the world over.

Latest Posts

Our Contacts

Russian Life
73 Main Street, Suite 402
Montpelier VT 05602

802-223-4955