November 03, 2020

The Emperor Has No Clothes


The Emperor Has No Clothes
No, this isn't the naked photo you're looking for. Public domain

Russian emperors: they're just like us, butts and all.

In case you were in doubt about monarchs' humanity, take a gander at these recently-resurfaced photos of Nicholas II enjoying a skinny-dip on the Finnish coast in 1912.

The Moscow Times reports that digital photo colorist Marina Amaral came across the images while working on a recent project. Since tweeting out her salacious findings, the photos have spread throughout cyberspace.

Many have commented on Nicholas' physique, which is impressive even by 21st-century standards; if nothing else, these photos should serve as motivation for your morning workout.

Our hope is that the photos are soon colorized, so we can giggle at them in even more realistic glory. See them for yourself here, if the idea of looking at Romanov ass-cheeks is appealing to you (which it definitely is, of course).

 

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Some of Our Books

Davai! The Russians and Their Vodka

Davai! The Russians and Their Vodka

In this comprehensive, quixotic and addictive book, Edwin Trommelen explores all facets of the Russian obsession with vodka. Peering chiefly through the lenses of history and literature, Trommelen offers up an appropriately complex, rich and bittersweet portrait, based on great respect for Russian culture.
Maria's War: A Soldier's Autobiography

Maria's War: A Soldier's Autobiography

This astonishingly gripping autobiography by the founder of the Russian Women’s Death Battallion in World War I is an eye-opening documentary of life before, during and after the Bolshevik Revolution.
Bears in the Caviar

Bears in the Caviar

Bears in the Caviar is a hilarious and insightful memoir by a diplomat who was “present at the creation” of US-Soviet relations. Charles Thayer headed off to Russia in 1933, calculating that if he could just learn Russian and be on the spot when the US and USSR established relations, he could make himself indispensable and start a career in the foreign service. Remarkably, he pulled it of.
Russian Rules

Russian Rules

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Jews in Service to the Tsar

Jews in Service to the Tsar

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Moscow and Muscovites

Moscow and Muscovites

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The Little Humpbacked Horse (bilingual)

The Little Humpbacked Horse (bilingual)

A beloved Russian classic about a resourceful Russian peasant, Vanya, and his miracle-working horse, who together undergo various trials, exploits and adventures at the whim of a laughable tsar, told in rich, narrative poetry.
Stargorod: A Novel in Many Voices

Stargorod: A Novel in Many Voices

Stargorod is a mid-sized provincial city that exists only in Russian metaphorical space. It has its roots in Gogol, and Ilf and Petrov, and is a place far from Moscow, but close to Russian hearts. It is a place of mystery and normality, of provincial innocence and Black Earth wisdom. Strange, inexplicable things happen in Stargorod. So do good things. And bad things. A lot like life everywhere, one might say. Only with a heavy dose of vodka, longing and mystery.
Faith & Humor: Notes from Muscovy

Faith & Humor: Notes from Muscovy

A book that dares to explore the humanity of priests and pilgrims, saints and sinners, Faith & Humor has been both a runaway bestseller in Russia and the focus of heated controversy – as often happens when a thoughtful writer takes on sacred cows. The stories, aphorisms, anecdotes, dialogues and adventures in this volume comprise an encyclopedia of modern Russian Orthodoxy, and thereby of Russian life.

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