July 01, 2022

Summer Fun at a Russian Prison


Summer Fun at a Russian Prison
Just you and your prison gang enjoying the sunshine and water. Laslovarga, Wikimedia Commons

Even as Russia invades Ukraine, there are some things that have stayed the same. For instance, Russian prison officials getting up to shenanigans.

A tender announcement posted on a website for public procurement specified a need for a "towed water banana." The institution requesting the watersports equipment was Penal Colony No. 7 in Meleuz, in the Russian republic of Bashkiria.

The posting details requirements, including that the banana must be able to sit six people and measure 3.9 meters × 2.4 meters × 0.75 meters (approx. 13 ft x 8 ft x 2.5 ft). The colony has also requested that the banana come with all necessary accessories, including a pump, case, a repair kit, and necessary documentation. All of this must not cost more than R 133,000, or $2,440.

July 12 is the deadline for delivery, so if you're looking to unload your watersports gear, now's your opportunity.

While we can't exactly picture guards and inmates frolicking on a sunny Russian beach, taking turns driving the boat and giggling on the inflatable, we assume that the "towed water banana" will at least be put to good use.

 

 

You Might Also Like

The Water is Fine: Water Sports in Russia
  • August 08, 2021

The Water is Fine: Water Sports in Russia

Russia isn't known for being a warm-water country, but during the summer months there are more than enough accessible rivers, lakes, seas, and oceans within and around the country to have a little fun.
Yes, Dumplings are Still Bribes
  • December 11, 2020

Yes, Dumplings are Still Bribes

A police chief in Novosibirsk has been convicted of corruption charges after accepting Caucasian dumplings as brides.
'Sup?
  • August 12, 2020

'Sup?

St. Petersburg saw over 2,000 attendees at its stand-up-paddleboard (SUP) festival this year, many in costume and with pets in tow.
Like this post? Get a weekly email digest + member-only deals

Some of Our Books

Woe From Wit (bilingual)

Woe From Wit (bilingual)

One of the most famous works of Russian literature, the four-act comedy in verse Woe from Wit skewers staid, nineteenth century Russian society, and it positively teems with “winged phrases” that are essential colloquialisms for students of Russian and Russian culture.
Maria's War: A Soldier's Autobiography

Maria's War: A Soldier's Autobiography

This astonishingly gripping autobiography by the founder of the Russian Women’s Death Battallion in World War I is an eye-opening documentary of life before, during and after the Bolshevik Revolution.
The Samovar Murders

The Samovar Murders

The murder of a poet is always more than a murder. When a famous writer is brutally stabbed on the campus of Moscow’s Lumumba University, the son of a recently deposed African president confesses, and the case assumes political implications that no one wants any part of.
93 Untranslatable Russian Words

93 Untranslatable Russian Words

Every language has concepts, ideas, words and idioms that are nearly impossible to translate into another language. This book looks at nearly 100 such Russian words and offers paths to their understanding and translation by way of examples from literature and everyday life. Difficult to translate words and concepts are introduced with dictionary definitions, then elucidated with citations from literature, speech and prose, helping the student of Russian comprehend the word/concept in context.
Stargorod: A Novel in Many Voices

Stargorod: A Novel in Many Voices

Stargorod is a mid-sized provincial city that exists only in Russian metaphorical space. It has its roots in Gogol, and Ilf and Petrov, and is a place far from Moscow, but close to Russian hearts. It is a place of mystery and normality, of provincial innocence and Black Earth wisdom. Strange, inexplicable things happen in Stargorod. So do good things. And bad things. A lot like life everywhere, one might say. Only with a heavy dose of vodka, longing and mystery.
Murder and the Muse

Murder and the Muse

KGB Chief Andropov has tapped Matyushkin to solve a brazen jewel heist from Picasso’s wife at the posh Metropole Hotel. But when the case bleeds over into murder, machinations, and international intrigue, not everyone is eager to see where the clues might lead.
Fearful Majesty

Fearful Majesty

This acclaimed biography of one of Russia’s most important and tyrannical rulers is not only a rich, readable biography, it is also surprisingly timely, revealing how many of the issues Russia faces today have their roots in Ivan’s reign.
Fish: A History of One Migration

Fish: A History of One Migration

This mesmerizing novel from one of Russia’s most important modern authors traces the life journey of a selfless Russian everywoman. In the wake of the Soviet breakup, inexorable forces drag Vera across the breadth of the Russian empire. Facing a relentless onslaught of human and social trials, she swims against the current of life, countering adversity and pain with compassion and hope, in many ways personifying Mother Russia’s torment and resilience amid the Soviet disintegration.
Murder at the Dacha

Murder at the Dacha

Senior Lieutenant Pavel Matyushkin has a problem. Several, actually. Not the least of them is the fact that a powerful Soviet boss has been murdered, and Matyushkin's surly commander has given him an unreasonably short time frame to close the case.
Survival Russian

Survival Russian

Survival Russian is an intensely practical guide to conversational, colloquial and culture-rich Russian. It uses humor, current events and thematically-driven essays to deepen readers’ understanding of Russian language and culture. This enlarged Second Edition of Survival Russian includes over 90 essays and illuminates over 2000 invaluable Russian phrases and words.
The Frogs Who Begged for a Tsar

The Frogs Who Begged for a Tsar

The fables of Ivan Krylov are rich fonts of Russian cultural wisdom and experience – reading and understanding them is vital to grasping the Russian worldview. This new edition of 62 of Krylov’s tales presents them side-by-side in English and Russian. The wonderfully lyrical translations by Lydia Razran Stone are accompanied by original, whimsical color illustrations by Katya Korobkina.

About Us

Russian Life is a publication of a 30-year-young, award-winning publishing house that creates a bimonthly magazine, books, maps, and other products for Russophiles the world over.

Latest Posts

Our Contacts

Russian Life
PO Box 567
Montpelier VT 05601-0567

802-223-4955