August 21, 2020

I'm Not Dead Yet


I'm Not Dead Yet
No need to turn on the lights and siren, apparently. Zimin Vas, Wikimedia Commons

An elderly woman in the city of Kursk awoke after surgery not in a comfortable hospital bed, surrounded by friends and family, but in the hospital's morgue.

The woman was reportedly admitted to the hospital with abdominal pain. Doctors operated on her, but she did not respond to resuscitation and was declared dead after more than half an hour.

The next morning, a (we presume very startled) hospital employee found her awake in the morgue. The patient is now back under medical surveillance.

The regional health committee is now investigating the incident, declaring it "unacceptable." The hospital has defended itself by saying that it lacks expensive equipment to measure brain activity, and that the chief doctor was on vacation at the time.

Regardless, we think zombies, even elderly ones, are the last thing we need in 2020.

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February 01, 2009

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