September 04, 2008

Sarah Palin's Secret Past Revealed!


Many have scoffed at Cindy McCain's defense of Alaska Governor (and GOP Veep candidate) Sarah Palin's foreign policy chops with the assertion that "Alaska is the closest part of our continent to Russia."

Scoff not. The truth is so more startling still.

We have made thorough inquiries with our sources in Russia's far eastern region of Chukotka (just 53 miles from Alaskan America across the Bering Strait), and it turns out that Ms. Palin's connection with Russia may have more wrinkles than a 44-year-old Texas Armadillo.

Our source, which requested anonymity because he was specious, alleged that, in 1988 and 1989, when Palin was ostensibly employed as a "sports reporter" for KTUU in Anchorage and "helping out" in her husband's family commercial fishing business, she captained a fishing vessel which made several highly treacherous forays into Russian waters and at least twice landed on what was then Soviet soil. According to our source, Palin was carrying out secret missions, dropping sleeper spies onto Russian soil and slipping away under cover of darkness.

"This is very brave woman," said our Chukotkan informant. "She come very close to get caught many times. And she drop off secret anti-Soviet agents too."

There was no immediate, official comment from the McCain-Palin campaign to the revelation that Palin worked for US intelligence 20 years ago. But one influential Republican source did offer, on deep background, that "you media clowns don't know half of what there is to know about Little Sarah. Hell, did you know 'Palin' is derived from the Russian word for 'scorch'? I didn't think so. Dammit, when the American public finds out that this little woman was almost single-handedly responsible for the collapse of the Soviet Union, it's gonna be all over for the Angry Leftists."

Our Russian source was inclined to agree. "This is American hero. Russian hero too. International hero. And if you don't believe me she was spy, you just have to look at her family. You think it accident that all her children have code names like Willow and Piper and Trig? Truth, she is sometimes a hard thing."

And yet, the truth will always out...

Like this post? Get a weekly email digest + member-only deals

Some of our Books

The Latchkey Murders
July 01, 2015

The Latchkey Murders

Senior Lieutenant Pavel Matyushkin is back on the case in this prequel to the popular mystery Murder at the Dacha, in which a serial killer is on the loose in Khrushchev’s Moscow...

Murder and the Muse
December 12, 2016

Murder and the Muse

KGB Chief Andropov has tapped Matyushkin to solve a brazen jewel heist from Picasso’s wife at the posh Metropole Hotel. But when the case bleeds over into murder, machinations, and international intrigue, not everyone is eager to see where the clues might lead.

White Magic
June 01, 2021

White Magic

The thirteen tales in this volume – all written by Russian émigrés, writers who fled their native country in the early twentieth century – contain a fair dose of magic and mysticism, of terror and the supernatural. There are Petersburg revenants, grief-stricken avengers, Lithuanian vampires, flying skeletons, murders and duels, and even a ghostly Edgar Allen Poe.

The Samovar Murders
November 01, 2019

The Samovar Murders

The murder of a poet is always more than a murder. When a famous writer is brutally stabbed on the campus of Moscow’s Lumumba University, the son of a recently deposed African president confesses, and the case assumes political implications that no one wants any part of.

How Russia Got That Way
September 20, 2025

How Russia Got That Way

A fast-paced crash course in Russian history, from Norsemen to Navalny, that explores the ways the Kremlin uses history to achieve its ends.

Fish
February 01, 2010

Fish

This mesmerizing novel from one of Russia’s most important modern authors traces the life journey of a selfless Russian everywoman. In the wake of the Soviet breakup, inexorable forces drag Vera across the breadth of the Russian empire. Facing a relentless onslaught of human and social trials, she swims against the current of life, countering adversity and pain with compassion and hope, in many ways personifying Mother Russia’s torment and resilience amid the Soviet disintegration.

93 Untranslatable Russian Words
December 01, 2008

93 Untranslatable Russian Words

Every language has concepts, ideas, words and idioms that are nearly impossible to translate into another language. This book looks at nearly 100 such Russian words and offers paths to their understanding and translation by way of examples from literature and everyday life. Difficult to translate words and concepts are introduced with dictionary definitions, then elucidated with citations from literature, speech and prose, helping the student of Russian comprehend the word/concept in context.

The Pet Hawk of the House of Abbas
October 01, 2013

The Pet Hawk of the House of Abbas

This exciting new trilogy by a Russian author – who has been compared to Orhan Pamuk and Umberto Eco – vividly recreates a lost world, yet its passions and characters are entirely relevant to the present day. Full of mystery, memorable characters, and non-stop adventure, The Pet Hawk of the House of Abbas is a must read for lovers of historical fiction and international thrillers.

 

About Us

Russian Life is a publication of a 30-year-young, award-winning publishing house that creates a bimonthly magazine, books, maps, and other products for Russophiles the world over.

Latest Posts

Our Contacts

Russian Life
73 Main Street, Suite 402
Montpelier VT 05602

802-223-4955