Watch Your Tongue

Detainees in Russian pre-trial detention are now forbidden from using obscenities or the jargon commonly used among criminals (принятый в криминальной среде жаргон) when talking to each other or the correctional facility staff.

This “jargon commonly used among criminals” is more commonly called феня, as in ботать по фене (talk slammer slang). Interestingly, such jargon didn’t start in jail, although no one is sure of its exact origin. It may have originated centuries ago among офеня, traveling salesmen who sold sundries, as a way for them to communicate without the marks – er, customers – knowing what they were saying.

But now it’s so engrained among “the criminal element” they can barely converse without it. So, to help them – and you, if you end up in jail – here’s a short primer of some common феня phrases and their contemporary literary Russian equivalents.

Let’s say your cellmate looks a bit down in the mouth. As a conversation opener, don’t say, “Прекрати кисляк мандячить.” (Quit pulling a face.) Maybe it’s best not to notice? You might say instead, “Вам досадно? Чем помочь?” (Are you upset about something? Can I help?)

If the guy seems out of it, don’t ask, “Ты чё – бухой, что ли?” (What’s with you – you drunk or what?) Instead, try saying, “Что с вами? Может быть, вы в нетрезвом состоянии?” (What happened to you? Are you perhaps under the influence?)

The reply might be: “Не не не – я завязал.” (Nope, I quit.) In non-camp language, this might be: “Да что вы! Я бросил пить!” (Oh, no, you’re wrong. I gave up drinking.) Actually, you could probably use завязать (to quit), since it has entered mainstream Russian.

Your cellmate might point to someone and say, “Он тухлый тип какой-то.” (There’s something fishy about him.) It’s interesting that suspicious people smell like rotten fish in both English and Russian. But this should be rephrased as, “Он не вызывает доверия.” (He doesn’t inspire trust.)

Chances are that you’ll want to talk about how you ended up behind bars: “Менты пришили мне нахалку.” (The cops made a case against me so full of holes you could see right through it.) Even if this is true, the new language regulations require a more balanced and circumspect commentary:  “Я считаю, что подставили меня нечестные полицейские.”
(I think dishonest policemen framed me.)

If you’re a newbie and look confused, you might hear “Догнал?” (You catch what I’m saying?) Suggest instead that your cellmate ask, “Вы понимаете меня?” (Do you understand me?)

If you say the wrong thing, you’ll hear “Фильтруй базар.” (Watch what you say.) You’ll need to get a ruling on this phrase from the resident linguist in your detention center, since it is used in just about every television series and by everyone under the age of 40. Ditto with конкретно (absolutely, for sure) and конкретный (tough guy). Nearest synonym: крутой (tough, cool). That’s also former prison slang. Вот заморочка! (What a mess!)  But that’s prison jargon, too – or it used to be.

Well, perhaps this law isn’t so onerous after all. Just talk like a TV show and you’ll be fine.