June 17, 2022

Down and Dirty Journalism (Or, Poo-tin)


Down and Dirty Journalism (Or, Poo-tin)
In the same way that this slogan promises not to "abandon our own," Putin's security keeps close tabs on his urine, saliva, and feces. Sputnik News, an affiliate of the Russian state.

Putin is just like us. He has a dog, plays sports, and uses the restroom.

Of course, the last of these creates a security concern. After all, access to a powerful man's DNA, through spit, urine, and other bodily fluids, could mean disaster at the highest levels of the Russian state. And according to the blog of independent Russian journalist Farida Rustamova, the effort to keep Putin's "biomaterials" secure has led to some ridiculous measures.

Faridaily's article on how Putin's DNA stays safe includes some practices that are fairly benign: for instance, it was noted in 2019 that Putin brought his own mug to a G20 summit, a vessel that was closely watched by security to ensure that it remained in the right hands.

When it comes to bodily waste, however, security guards have a distinctly messier job. According to Rustamova, Putin uses a portable toilet when on the road to ensure the security of his waste. While in Russia, guards are permitted to empty and refresh the commode. Abroad, the waste is preserved for security reasons and only destroyed on the return to Moscow.

Faridaily also pointed out that the preservation of Putin's poo these days could be tied to a chronic disease, as speculated by the French press, but that's pure conjecture.

We can only imagine that his Black Sea mansion has some sort of security gadget in its septic system, too.

 

 

You Might Also Like

Putin's Pooches
  • October 07, 2021

Putin's Pooches

On this, Vladimir Putin's 69th birthday, we are reminded that even authoritarian leaders are softies for good dogs. Maybe especially so?
Is Putin Ailing?
  • May 02, 2022

Is Putin Ailing?

As rumors arise about President Putin's health, we take stock.
Like this post? Get a weekly email digest + member-only deals

Some of Our Books

Turgenev Bilingual

Turgenev Bilingual

A sampling of Ivan Turgenev's masterful short stories, plays, novellas and novels. Bilingual, with English and accented Russian texts running side by side on adjoining pages.
Marooned in Moscow

Marooned in Moscow

This gripping autobiography plays out against the backdrop of Russia's bloody Civil War, and was one of the first Western eyewitness accounts of life in post-revolutionary Russia. Marooned in Moscow provides a fascinating account of one woman's entry into war-torn Russia in early 1920, first-person impressions of many in the top Soviet leadership, and accounts of the author's increasingly dangerous work as a journalist and spy, to say nothing of her work on behalf of prisoners, her two arrests, and her eventual ten-month-long imprisonment, including in the infamous Lubyanka prison. It is a veritable encyclopedia of life in Russia in the early 1920s.
Bears in the Caviar

Bears in the Caviar

Bears in the Caviar is a hilarious and insightful memoir by a diplomat who was “present at the creation” of US-Soviet relations. Charles Thayer headed off to Russia in 1933, calculating that if he could just learn Russian and be on the spot when the US and USSR established relations, he could make himself indispensable and start a career in the foreign service. Remarkably, he pulled it of.
White Magic

White Magic

The thirteen tales in this volume – all written by Russian émigrés, writers who fled their native country in the early twentieth century – contain a fair dose of magic and mysticism, of terror and the supernatural. There are Petersburg revenants, grief-stricken avengers, Lithuanian vampires, flying skeletons, murders and duels, and even a ghostly Edgar Allen Poe.
The Little Golden Calf

The Little Golden Calf

Our edition of The Little Golden Calf, one of the greatest Russian satires ever, is the first new translation of this classic novel in nearly fifty years. It is also the first unabridged, uncensored English translation ever, and is 100% true to the original 1931 serial publication in the Russian journal 30 Dnei. Anne O. Fisher’s translation is copiously annotated, and includes an introduction by Alexandra Ilf, the daughter of one of the book’s two co-authors.
Woe From Wit (bilingual)

Woe From Wit (bilingual)

One of the most famous works of Russian literature, the four-act comedy in verse Woe from Wit skewers staid, nineteenth century Russian society, and it positively teems with “winged phrases” that are essential colloquialisms for students of Russian and Russian culture.
Murder at the Dacha

Murder at the Dacha

Senior Lieutenant Pavel Matyushkin has a problem. Several, actually. Not the least of them is the fact that a powerful Soviet boss has been murdered, and Matyushkin's surly commander has given him an unreasonably short time frame to close the case.
Murder and the Muse

Murder and the Muse

KGB Chief Andropov has tapped Matyushkin to solve a brazen jewel heist from Picasso’s wife at the posh Metropole Hotel. But when the case bleeds over into murder, machinations, and international intrigue, not everyone is eager to see where the clues might lead.
A Taste of Chekhov

A Taste of Chekhov

This compact volume is an introduction to the works of Chekhov the master storyteller, via nine stories spanning the last twenty years of his life.
Fearful Majesty

Fearful Majesty

This acclaimed biography of one of Russia’s most important and tyrannical rulers is not only a rich, readable biography, it is also surprisingly timely, revealing how many of the issues Russia faces today have their roots in Ivan’s reign.

About Us

Russian Life is a publication of a 30-year-young, award-winning publishing house that creates a bimonthly magazine, books, maps, and other products for Russophiles the world over.

Latest Posts

Our Contacts

Russian Life
73 Main Street, Suite 402
Montpelier VT 05602

802-223-4955