June 17, 2022

Down and Dirty Journalism (Or, Poo-tin)


Down and Dirty Journalism (Or, Poo-tin)
In the same way that this slogan promises not to "abandon our own," Putin's security keeps close tabs on his urine, saliva, and feces. Sputnik News, an affiliate of the Russian state.

Putin is just like us. He has a dog, plays sports, and uses the restroom.

Of course, the last of these creates a security concern. After all, access to a powerful man's DNA, through spit, urine, and other bodily fluids, could mean disaster at the highest levels of the Russian state. And according to the blog of independent Russian journalist Farida Rustamova, the effort to keep Putin's "biomaterials" secure has led to some ridiculous measures.

Faridaily's article on how Putin's DNA stays safe includes some practices that are fairly benign: for instance, it was noted in 2019 that Putin brought his own mug to a G20 summit, a vessel that was closely watched by security to ensure that it remained in the right hands.

When it comes to bodily waste, however, security guards have a distinctly messier job. According to Rustamova, Putin uses a portable toilet when on the road to ensure the security of his waste. While in Russia, guards are permitted to empty and refresh the commode. Abroad, the waste is preserved for security reasons and only destroyed on the return to Moscow.

Faridaily also pointed out that the preservation of Putin's poo these days could be tied to a chronic disease, as speculated by the French press, but that's pure conjecture.

We can only imagine that his Black Sea mansion has some sort of security gadget in its septic system, too.

 

 

You Might Also Like

Putin's Pooches
  • October 07, 2021

Putin's Pooches

On this, Vladimir Putin's 69th birthday, we are reminded that even authoritarian leaders are softies for good dogs. Maybe especially so?
Is Putin Ailing?
  • May 02, 2022

Is Putin Ailing?

As rumors arise about President Putin's health, we take stock.
Like this post? Get a weekly email digest + member-only deals

Some of Our Books

Marooned in Moscow

Marooned in Moscow

This gripping autobiography plays out against the backdrop of Russia's bloody Civil War, and was one of the first Western eyewitness accounts of life in post-revolutionary Russia. Marooned in Moscow provides a fascinating account of one woman's entry into war-torn Russia in early 1920, first-person impressions of many in the top Soviet leadership, and accounts of the author's increasingly dangerous work as a journalist and spy, to say nothing of her work on behalf of prisoners, her two arrests, and her eventual ten-month-long imprisonment, including in the infamous Lubyanka prison. It is a veritable encyclopedia of life in Russia in the early 1920s.
Tolstoy Bilingual

Tolstoy Bilingual

This compact, yet surprisingly broad look at the life and work of Tolstoy spans from one of his earliest stories to one of his last, looking at works that made him famous and others that made him notorious. 
The Samovar Murders

The Samovar Murders

The murder of a poet is always more than a murder. When a famous writer is brutally stabbed on the campus of Moscow’s Lumumba University, the son of a recently deposed African president confesses, and the case assumes political implications that no one wants any part of.
The Pet Hawk of the House of Abbas

The Pet Hawk of the House of Abbas

This exciting new trilogy by a Russian author – who has been compared to Orhan Pamuk and Umberto Eco – vividly recreates a lost world, yet its passions and characters are entirely relevant to the present day. Full of mystery, memorable characters, and non-stop adventure, The Pet Hawk of the House of Abbas is a must read for lovers of historical fiction and international thrillers.  
Jews in Service to the Tsar

Jews in Service to the Tsar

Benjamin Disraeli advised, “Read no history: nothing but biography, for that is life without theory.” With Jews in Service to the Tsar, Lev Berdnikov offers us 28 biographies spanning five centuries of Russian Jewish history, and each portrait opens a new window onto the history of Eastern Europe’s Jews, illuminating dark corners and challenging widely-held conceptions about the role of Jews in Russian history.
Murder and the Muse

Murder and the Muse

KGB Chief Andropov has tapped Matyushkin to solve a brazen jewel heist from Picasso’s wife at the posh Metropole Hotel. But when the case bleeds over into murder, machinations, and international intrigue, not everyone is eager to see where the clues might lead.
Driving Down Russia's Spine

Driving Down Russia's Spine

The story of the epic Spine of Russia trip, intertwining fascinating subject profiles with digressions into historical and cultural themes relevant to understanding modern Russia. 
Moscow and Muscovites

Moscow and Muscovites

Vladimir Gilyarovsky's classic portrait of the Russian capital is one of Russians’ most beloved books. Yet it has never before been translated into English. Until now! It is a spectactular verbal pastiche: conversation, from gutter gibberish to the drawing room; oratory, from illiterates to aristocrats; prose, from boilerplate to Tolstoy; poetry, from earthy humor to Pushkin. 
Woe From Wit (bilingual)

Woe From Wit (bilingual)

One of the most famous works of Russian literature, the four-act comedy in verse Woe from Wit skewers staid, nineteenth century Russian society, and it positively teems with “winged phrases” that are essential colloquialisms for students of Russian and Russian culture.
Survival Russian

Survival Russian

Survival Russian is an intensely practical guide to conversational, colloquial and culture-rich Russian. It uses humor, current events and thematically-driven essays to deepen readers’ understanding of Russian language and culture. This enlarged Second Edition of Survival Russian includes over 90 essays and illuminates over 2000 invaluable Russian phrases and words.

About Us

Russian Life is a publication of a 30-year-young, award-winning publishing house that creates a bimonthly magazine, books, maps, and other products for Russophiles the world over.

Latest Posts

Our Contacts

Russian Life
73 Main Street, Suite 402
Montpelier VT 05602

802-223-4955