December 19, 2013

9 Crazy Things Russian Lawmakers Have Tried to Ban


9 Crazy Things Russian Lawmakers Have Tried to Ban

This list is translated and adapted from Snob’s list of “9 Things They’ve Tried to Save Us From.”

 

1. Bad News

Sometimes reading the news is just depressing – a search for “news from Arkhangelsk” brings up falling buildings, drowning children, burning buses, and corruption. SR Duma representative Oleg Mikheyev’s reaction: ban bad news and limit journalists’ ability to publish negative information to 30 percent of overall news. Have more negativity to spew? Sorry, that could cost you up to six years in prison.

 

2. Childless Women

Natalia Baskova, of the Chelyabinsk city Duma, proposed a new law, under which all women would be required to marry and have at least one child before turning 20. Seems a bit out of the blue, but Baskova is not the only one frightened by Russia’s lengthy population decline, particularly among the ethnic Russian population. This was her somewhat heavy-handed idea for a solution. (It’s worth noting, however, that the population is no longer declining.)

 

3. The Sound of Cat Paws

Here’s a law that actually passed: the city council of St. Petersburg adopted a bill that forbade yelling, whistling, knocking, moving furniture, singing, and playing musical instruments at night – Russians value their quiet hours! Conspicuously absent from the list, but mentioned in debate: the sound of cat paws, dog howls, loud snoring, and moving refrigerators.

 

4. Dash Cams

As proposed, a Duma bill would have fined drivers for attaching anything to their windshields and windows that would block their vision; the items would be confiscated. The items could include your average GPS or radio antenna, but many believed the intended targets were dashboard-mounted cameras (“dash cams”), which Russian drivers install, in part, to record proof of corruption and other shady dealings (but also to flood YouTube with compilations of car crashes, and to provide comedic fodder for The Daily Show). But dash cams lived to see another day – the bill was rejected in committee.

 

5. The Consequences of Eating Garlic

An LDPR Duma representative, Sergei Ivanov, introduced a bill to “protect citizens from the consequences of consuming garlic.” (By “consequences” he probably just meant the smell.) The use of garlic was to be banned in educational, cultural, youth, and transportation facilities, and no garlic was to be sold at night (10 PM to 9 AM) or in enclosed spaces smaller than 25 square meters.

 

6. Doctors’ Mistakes

Another LDPR rep, Valery Seleznev, proposed that medical facilities be required to make video recordings of any operations they perform (but only with the patient’s consent). The recording could then provide conclusive evidence of guilt in malpractice suits. Added bonus: providing medical students with videos of complicated or rare operations could help with their training, which, in turn, would diminish the frequency of mistakes! Everyone wins.

 

7. Women at Political Demonstrations

Citing the Bible, Vitaly Milonov, a representative in the St. Petersburg legislature, claimed that a woman caught participating in political rallies should be publicly shamed. His bill would have forbidden such women from ever marrying – although it remains unclear whether that would have had much of an effect on the number of women at such demonstrations.

 

8. The End of the World

The St. Petersburg legislature considered a bill that would forbid the media from mentioning an imminent end of the world. SR’s Andrei Gorshechnikov spearheaded the bill, expressing his concern over “the rise of eschatological sentiments in society,” which he believes could lead to rising crime and suicide rates, as well as drug and alcohol abuse. Could the media be intentionally fanning the flames by talking about the end of the world?

(Incidentally, this is not the first time the Russian government has taken an interest in theology. “Sectarianism” is a crime under the Russian criminal code, defined as organizing a cult that may cause harm to its members or society.)

 

9. Sacrifices

A bill proposed by LDPR representatives Igor Lebedev and Sergei Ivanov would have imposed a 2000-ruble fine or 15 days imprisonment for performing animal or human sacrifices outside of designated areas. The bill does not appear to have passed – possibly because it seems to imply that human sacrifices are acceptable, so long as you keep it to certain locations…

 

Photo credit: Eugenia Sokolskaya

Like this post? Get a weekly email digest + member-only deals

Some of Our Books

Fearful Majesty

Fearful Majesty

This acclaimed biography of one of Russia’s most important and tyrannical rulers is not only a rich, readable biography, it is also surprisingly timely, revealing how many of the issues Russia faces today have their roots in Ivan’s reign.
The Pet Hawk of the House of Abbas

The Pet Hawk of the House of Abbas

This exciting new trilogy by a Russian author – who has been compared to Orhan Pamuk and Umberto Eco – vividly recreates a lost world, yet its passions and characters are entirely relevant to the present day. Full of mystery, memorable characters, and non-stop adventure, The Pet Hawk of the House of Abbas is a must read for lovers of historical fiction and international thrillers.  
Murder and the Muse

Murder and the Muse

KGB Chief Andropov has tapped Matyushkin to solve a brazen jewel heist from Picasso’s wife at the posh Metropole Hotel. But when the case bleeds over into murder, machinations, and international intrigue, not everyone is eager to see where the clues might lead.
Chekhov Bilingual

Chekhov Bilingual

Some of Chekhov's most beloved stories, with English and accented Russian on facing pages throughout. 
Okudzhava Bilingual

Okudzhava Bilingual

Poems, songs and autobiographical sketches by Bulat Okudzhava, the king of the Russian bards. 
The Frogs Who Begged for a Tsar (bilingual)

The Frogs Who Begged for a Tsar (bilingual)

The fables of Ivan Krylov are rich fonts of Russian cultural wisdom and experience – reading and understanding them is vital to grasping the Russian worldview. This new edition of 62 of Krylov’s tales presents them side-by-side in English and Russian. The wonderfully lyrical translations by Lydia Razran Stone are accompanied by original, whimsical color illustrations by Katya Korobkina.
Fish: A History of One Migration

Fish: A History of One Migration

This mesmerizing novel from one of Russia’s most important modern authors traces the life journey of a selfless Russian everywoman. In the wake of the Soviet breakup, inexorable forces drag Vera across the breadth of the Russian empire. Facing a relentless onslaught of human and social trials, she swims against the current of life, countering adversity and pain with compassion and hope, in many ways personifying Mother Russia’s torment and resilience amid the Soviet disintegration.
At the Circus (bilingual)

At the Circus (bilingual)

This wonderful novella by Alexander Kuprin tells the story of the wrestler Arbuzov and his battle against a renowned American wrestler. Rich in detail and characterization, At the Circus brims with excitement and life. You can smell the sawdust in the big top, see the vivid and colorful characters, sense the tension build as Arbuzov readies to face off against the American.
Steppe / Степь (bilingual)

Steppe / Степь (bilingual)

This is the work that made Chekhov, launching his career as a writer and playwright of national and international renown. Retranslated and updated, this new bilingual edition is a super way to improve your Russian.
Murder at the Dacha

Murder at the Dacha

Senior Lieutenant Pavel Matyushkin has a problem. Several, actually. Not the least of them is the fact that a powerful Soviet boss has been murdered, and Matyushkin's surly commander has given him an unreasonably short time frame to close the case.

About Us

Russian Life is a publication of a 30-year-young, award-winning publishing house that creates a bimonthly magazine, books, maps, and other products for Russophiles the world over.

Latest Posts

Our Contacts

Russian Life
73 Main Street, Suite 402
Montpelier VT 05602

802-223-4955