October 17, 2013

RuNet: The Silly and the Serious


RuNet: The Silly and the Serious

Fall is here! And what has Russian Internet been up to?

Much as was the case last month, Russian bloggers are travelling, sightseeing, writing, sharing. One Sergei Nikitskiy, for example, just put up photos of his cruise in the Volga watershed (an approximate map of his route can be found here). He may not be a professional photographer, but his photos manage to capture the eclectic, at times faded and dilapidated, but always unique Russian landscape, both urban and natural. And the most telling sign that this is Russia? The boat he was on was the Karl Marx.

Meanwhile, some denizens of RuNet have been asking some strange questions – and receiving even stranger answers:

ukrop21
By the way, do you know when we’ll start bombing the US already? We’ve produced enough plutonium & uranium, about time we got started.

Beria lavrentiy
As the nuclear project manager, I can answer you with complete authority: we’ll start bombing as soon as we freshen the nip. All hail the CPSU!

Satire alert! This is but one example in a long exchange of “forum posts” in which Russians present themselves exactly as Westerners supposedly see them – radical communists, vodka drinkers, balalaika players, bear tamers, and owners of personal nuclear arsenals:

 

FreemanOnly
Comrades! Here in Siberia we had a warm spell yesterday (-40 F), so I decided to plow up the garden in my courtyard. Meanwhile, my wife Dunya was playing on the balalaika and dancing “barynya” (I find it’s easier to work that way). Long story short, I got carried away and lost my vodka ration cards, and they won’t give us new ones for another month! Can anyone who’s had this problem give me a hint – how did you deal with it?

 

Lev Sergeevich
Yesterday the traffic police stopped me on my bear. They seemed to think I was sober. So I had to prove to them I was drunk by drinking 11 bottles of vodka with them, so that they wouldn’t revoke my license for sobriety.

 

Vadim Gerasimov
Comrades, have some restraint! Here at the KGB we don’t have the time to go out and delegate firing squads for everyone. Could anyone who has harmed a bear in any way please come visit us in the Lubyanka to be shot? By the way, does anyone know if it’s true that starting Monday they’re going to start shutting off the hot vodka in apartments?

 

Ura Buera
I just got back from work […] But here’s the thing. I got my paycheck in rubles instead of vodka rations. I glued them onto my reactor and admired my own work. The reactor looks so nice with the Leader’s face on it, but I really do want some vodka. Comrades, can anyone tell me what to do with rubles? Can I exchange them for vodka rations?

 

ironminer
Comrades! Today I was strolling by the Iron Curtain, and heard non-Russian speech on the other side. How can this be? Are we not alone in this world?

The whole list (in Russian) can be found here.

With all that silliness, let’s not forget the serious side of things! Politically, the internet community has been preoccupied with a recent pronouncement by Valentina Matvienko, suggesting a return of the “against all” (protiv vsekh) option in elections, last seen on ballots in 2006. Reactions range from touching stories of how the option saved elections in the past to how it’s just a power play by the ruling party, to reasoned analysis of how it may affect voting patterns. (Plus, with typical Internet creativity, even the level-headed analysis includes the wonderful neologism vredinorossy, a portmanteau of vred ‘harm’ and edinorossy ‘members of United Russia.’) So silly or serious, there’s always something to be found on RuNet!


Photo credit: Wikimedia Commons. Translations by Eugenia Sokolskaya.

Like this post? Get a weekly email digest + member-only deals

Some of Our Books

Maria's War: A Soldier's Autobiography

Maria's War: A Soldier's Autobiography

This astonishingly gripping autobiography by the founder of the Russian Women’s Death Battallion in World War I is an eye-opening documentary of life before, during and after the Bolshevik Revolution.
Steppe / Степь (bilingual)

Steppe / Степь (bilingual)

This is the work that made Chekhov, launching his career as a writer and playwright of national and international renown. Retranslated and updated, this new bilingual edition is a super way to improve your Russian.
93 Untranslatable Russian Words

93 Untranslatable Russian Words

Every language has concepts, ideas, words and idioms that are nearly impossible to translate into another language. This book looks at nearly 100 such Russian words and offers paths to their understanding and translation by way of examples from literature and everyday life. Difficult to translate words and concepts are introduced with dictionary definitions, then elucidated with citations from literature, speech and prose, helping the student of Russian comprehend the word/concept in context.
Chekhov Bilingual

Chekhov Bilingual

Some of Chekhov's most beloved stories, with English and accented Russian on facing pages throughout. 
Marooned in Moscow

Marooned in Moscow

This gripping autobiography plays out against the backdrop of Russia's bloody Civil War, and was one of the first Western eyewitness accounts of life in post-revolutionary Russia. Marooned in Moscow provides a fascinating account of one woman's entry into war-torn Russia in early 1920, first-person impressions of many in the top Soviet leadership, and accounts of the author's increasingly dangerous work as a journalist and spy, to say nothing of her work on behalf of prisoners, her two arrests, and her eventual ten-month-long imprisonment, including in the infamous Lubyanka prison. It is a veritable encyclopedia of life in Russia in the early 1920s.
The Frogs Who Begged for a Tsar (bilingual)

The Frogs Who Begged for a Tsar (bilingual)

The fables of Ivan Krylov are rich fonts of Russian cultural wisdom and experience – reading and understanding them is vital to grasping the Russian worldview. This new edition of 62 of Krylov’s tales presents them side-by-side in English and Russian. The wonderfully lyrical translations by Lydia Razran Stone are accompanied by original, whimsical color illustrations by Katya Korobkina.
The Little Humpbacked Horse (bilingual)

The Little Humpbacked Horse (bilingual)

A beloved Russian classic about a resourceful Russian peasant, Vanya, and his miracle-working horse, who together undergo various trials, exploits and adventures at the whim of a laughable tsar, told in rich, narrative poetry.
Woe From Wit (bilingual)

Woe From Wit (bilingual)

One of the most famous works of Russian literature, the four-act comedy in verse Woe from Wit skewers staid, nineteenth century Russian society, and it positively teems with “winged phrases” that are essential colloquialisms for students of Russian and Russian culture.
Fish: A History of One Migration

Fish: A History of One Migration

This mesmerizing novel from one of Russia’s most important modern authors traces the life journey of a selfless Russian everywoman. In the wake of the Soviet breakup, inexorable forces drag Vera across the breadth of the Russian empire. Facing a relentless onslaught of human and social trials, she swims against the current of life, countering adversity and pain with compassion and hope, in many ways personifying Mother Russia’s torment and resilience amid the Soviet disintegration.

About Us

Russian Life is a publication of a 30-year-young, award-winning publishing house that creates a bimonthly magazine, books, maps, and other products for Russophiles the world over.

Latest Posts

Our Contacts

Russian Life
73 Main Street, Suite 402
Montpelier VT 05602

802-223-4955