October 24, 2019

Raining Cats and Hot Dogs


Raining Cats and Hot Dogs
Plotting escape: You ca(n’)t cat-ch meeeee! Podslushano, Novomoskovsk | Vkontakte

Quote of the Week

“Get your missiles out of Cuba. Everyone will say ‘Yay! Krushchev! You’re the best!’ But if you don’t everybody will be like ‘what an asshole’ and call your garbage country ‘the Soviet Bunion.’”
– Hillary Clinton, trolling President Trump by tweeting a letter allegedly “found in the archives” that JFK wrote to Khrushchev during the Cuban Missile Crisis (which began two days and 57 years ago), suspiciously similar to the letter Trump sent to Erdogan about the invasion of Kurdish-controlled regions of Syria… which even Vladimir Putin called “unusual.” 

Wrenching two main stories out of high-value cats 

1. A cat, detained for smuggling drugs into a Russian prison, escaped from behind bars. The cat was being held for evidence, after prosecutors claimed that he was trained by prisoners as a feline ferry, bringing them narcotics in a secret compartment in his collar. The defense attorneys thought that would be a task akin to herding cats; since when have the animals done what humans request? Now we will never know; keepers let the cat out of the cage due to cold weather, and he was being chased off by dogs. If cats have nine lives, then this one must have had some prison-breaking bad prior ones. 

2. It was the time of the worst of cats, but also the best of cats. The deaf Oracle Achilles, one of the Hermitage Cats, became famous for predicting outcomes in the 2018 World Cup by choosing food bowls marked with a particular country’s flag. The kitten of this prophetic palace cat (who is also a successful therapist, and Instagram model) was sold at an auction to raise funds for homeless animals at the World of Cats expo in St. Petersburg. The father was an honored guest at the event – but then, that is pretty predictable. 

Oracle cat in Russia
A cat of many talents, such as squatting while giving unsettling stares. / Achillcat | Instagram

3. A Russian inventor thinks he has found the key to success: a winter wrench (literally: “bolt key”). The Russian patent office named the heated hand tool the strangest patent application of the year, but unusual can be useful. The head of the department apparently warmed to the idea: “Anyone who has encountered the necessity of screwing or unscrewing some sort of bolt in -40º weather can value the unusual nature of such a wrench.” Best of all, it is bright red, so when you drop it in the snow you can see two-thirds of the Russian flag, and more importantly, find your wrench. Such a situation is at least as quintessentially Russian as whatever problems all the other innovations – mostly for farming, electronics, medicine, and oil and gas – are intended to solve.

 

In Odder News

  • Russia’s version of a hotdog – “sausage in dough” – is the best thing since sliced bread. Literally. It’s Russia’s favorite bread product, beating… sliced bread. 
  • Plastic pakety? Russians are bagging them. 
  • The Ukrainian president was caught dozing on the Moscow metro. At least, that’s what it looks like: the doppelganger is actually an immigrant from Uzbekistan. 

Spookily similar, even in mannerisms… this is no Halloween costume. Mash | Youtube

Want more where this comes from? Give your inbox the gift of TWERF, our Thursday newsletter on the quirkiest, obscurest, and Russianest of Russian happenings of the week.

Like this post? Get a weekly email digest + member-only deals

Some of Our Books

How Russia Got That Way

How Russia Got That Way

A fast-paced crash course in Russian history, from Norsemen to Navalny, that explores the ways the Kremlin uses history to achieve its ends.
Dostoyevsky Bilingual

Dostoyevsky Bilingual

Bilingual series of short, lesser known, but highly significant works that show the traditional view of Dostoyevsky as a dour, intense, philosophical writer to be unnecessarily one-sided. 
Stargorod: A Novel in Many Voices

Stargorod: A Novel in Many Voices

Stargorod is a mid-sized provincial city that exists only in Russian metaphorical space. It has its roots in Gogol, and Ilf and Petrov, and is a place far from Moscow, but close to Russian hearts. It is a place of mystery and normality, of provincial innocence and Black Earth wisdom. Strange, inexplicable things happen in Stargorod. So do good things. And bad things. A lot like life everywhere, one might say. Only with a heavy dose of vodka, longing and mystery.
The Little Golden Calf

The Little Golden Calf

Our edition of The Little Golden Calf, one of the greatest Russian satires ever, is the first new translation of this classic novel in nearly fifty years. It is also the first unabridged, uncensored English translation ever, and is 100% true to the original 1931 serial publication in the Russian journal 30 Dnei. Anne O. Fisher’s translation is copiously annotated, and includes an introduction by Alexandra Ilf, the daughter of one of the book’s two co-authors.
The Moscow Eccentric

The Moscow Eccentric

Advance reviewers are calling this new translation "a coup" and "a remarkable achievement." This rediscovered gem of a novel by one of Russia's finest writers explores some of the thorniest issues of the early twentieth century.
The Samovar Murders

The Samovar Murders

The murder of a poet is always more than a murder. When a famous writer is brutally stabbed on the campus of Moscow’s Lumumba University, the son of a recently deposed African president confesses, and the case assumes political implications that no one wants any part of.
At the Circus (bilingual)

At the Circus (bilingual)

This wonderful novella by Alexander Kuprin tells the story of the wrestler Arbuzov and his battle against a renowned American wrestler. Rich in detail and characterization, At the Circus brims with excitement and life. You can smell the sawdust in the big top, see the vivid and colorful characters, sense the tension build as Arbuzov readies to face off against the American.
The Latchkey Murders

The Latchkey Murders

Senior Lieutenant Pavel Matyushkin is back on the case in this prequel to the popular mystery Murder at the Dacha, in which a serial killer is on the loose in Khrushchev’s Moscow...
The Frogs Who Begged for a Tsar (bilingual)

The Frogs Who Begged for a Tsar (bilingual)

The fables of Ivan Krylov are rich fonts of Russian cultural wisdom and experience – reading and understanding them is vital to grasping the Russian worldview. This new edition of 62 of Krylov’s tales presents them side-by-side in English and Russian. The wonderfully lyrical translations by Lydia Razran Stone are accompanied by original, whimsical color illustrations by Katya Korobkina.
Maria's War: A Soldier's Autobiography

Maria's War: A Soldier's Autobiography

This astonishingly gripping autobiography by the founder of the Russian Women’s Death Battallion in World War I is an eye-opening documentary of life before, during and after the Bolshevik Revolution.
Fish
February 01, 2010

Fish

This mesmerizing novel from one of Russia’s most important modern authors traces the life journey of a selfless Russian everywoman. In the wake of the Soviet breakup, inexorable forces drag Vera across the breadth of the Russian empire. Facing a relentless onslaught of human and social trials, she swims against the current of life, countering adversity and pain with compassion and hope, in many ways personifying Mother Russia’s torment and resilience amid the Soviet disintegration.

Faith & Humor
December 01, 2011

Faith & Humor

A book that dares to explore the humanity of priests and pilgrims, saints and sinners, Faith & Humor has been both a runaway bestseller in Russia and the focus of heated controversy – as often happens when a thoughtful writer takes on sacred cows. The stories, aphorisms, anecdotes, dialogues and adventures in this volume comprise an encyclopedia of modern Russian Orthodoxy, and thereby of Russian life.

The Pet Hawk of the House of Abbas
October 01, 2013

The Pet Hawk of the House of Abbas

This exciting new trilogy by a Russian author – who has been compared to Orhan Pamuk and Umberto Eco – vividly recreates a lost world, yet its passions and characters are entirely relevant to the present day. Full of mystery, memorable characters, and non-stop adventure, The Pet Hawk of the House of Abbas is a must read for lovers of historical fiction and international thrillers.

 
93 Untranslatable Russian Words
December 01, 2008

93 Untranslatable Russian Words

Every language has concepts, ideas, words and idioms that are nearly impossible to translate into another language. This book looks at nearly 100 such Russian words and offers paths to their understanding and translation by way of examples from literature and everyday life. Difficult to translate words and concepts are introduced with dictionary definitions, then elucidated with citations from literature, speech and prose, helping the student of Russian comprehend the word/concept in context.

Woe From Wit (bilingual)
June 20, 2017

Woe From Wit (bilingual)

One of the most famous works of Russian literature, the four-act comedy in verse Woe from Wit skewers staid, nineteenth century Russian society, and it positively teems with “winged phrases” that are essential colloquialisms for students of Russian and Russian culture.

Murder at the Dacha
July 01, 2013

Murder at the Dacha

Senior Lieutenant Pavel Matyushkin has a problem. Several, actually. Not the least of them is the fact that a powerful Soviet boss has been murdered, and Matyushkin's surly commander has given him an unreasonably short time frame to close the case.

Little Golden Calf
February 01, 2010

Little Golden Calf

Our edition of The Little Golden Calf, one of the greatest Russian satires ever, is the first new translation of this classic novel in nearly fifty years. It is also the first unabridged, uncensored English translation ever, and is 100% true to the original 1931 serial publication in the Russian journal 30 Dnei. Anne O. Fisher’s translation is copiously annotated, and includes an introduction by Alexandra Ilf, the daughter of one of the book’s two co-authors.

The Latchkey Murders
July 01, 2015

The Latchkey Murders

Senior Lieutenant Pavel Matyushkin is back on the case in this prequel to the popular mystery Murder at the Dacha, in which a serial killer is on the loose in Khrushchev’s Moscow...

Driving Down Russia's Spine
June 01, 2016

Driving Down Russia's Spine

The story of the epic Spine of Russia trip, intertwining fascinating subject profiles with digressions into historical and cultural themes relevant to understanding modern Russia. 

About Us

Russian Life is a publication of a 30-year-young, award-winning publishing house that creates a bimonthly magazine, books, maps, and other products for Russophiles the world over.

Latest Posts

Our Contacts

Russian Life
73 Main Street, Suite 402
Montpelier VT 05602

802-223-4955