Maxine's Journey

A Soldier's Gender Shift on the Frontlines of Putin's War

In the early days of Russia’s War on Ukraine, Maxim Perov’s Russian unit was deployed deep inside Ukrainian territory. As Russia’s blitzkrieg faltered, the unit found itself surrounded by overwhelming enemy forces, and Maxim thought they might not get out alive. Yet, in those harrowing moments, Maxim’s fear of dying on the battlefield was overshadowed by the lifelong struggle she had been confronted with due to her gender identity.

Fast forward nearly three years, and Perov is still alive – but her name is now Maxine Perova, and she has left behind her identity as a soldier. One of the last people in Russia to legally complete a gender transition (the process was banned in July 2023), her decision affirmed her true self, but it also cost her a place in the military.

Maxine is now living in Russia as a woman, her gender dysphoria resolved. And while the Russian state that has been violating Ukrainian sovereignty since 2014 has also unleashed a campaign against people with non-traditional sexual orientations and gender identities, Maxine’s loyalty to Russia has not wavered. Russian Life met with Maxine to hear her story.

Childhood and Youth

Maxim Perov was born in 2000 in Nizhny Tagil, in the Ural Mountains, but grew up in Verkhnyaya Salda, a small town nearby known for its HIV epidemic and high crime rates.  

Maxine’s father passed away when she was just four. “Crime and drugs [...] my father got involved in that sort of thing and that’s why he’s no longer with us,” Maxine said, avoiding discussing the circumstances of her father’s death.  

The 24-year-old former soldier shared her story in a café in the heart of St. Petersburg, where she now lives. Her hair is long and dyed pink. She speaks in a gentle, soft voice.

Her mother’s new boyfriend raised Maxim and filled the father role. The couple worked at the local titanium plant, the town’s main employer.  

From an early age, Maxim felt more female than male. An incident in kindergarten stands out. When a teacher asked the children to form separate lines for boys and girls, Maxim instinctively joined the girls’ line.  

“The teacher moved me to another spot,” Maxine recalled, “and said, ‘Here, you’re with the boys.’” Maxim preferred spending time with girls, which sometimes caused tension with boys. But he always stood up for himself.  

“As a result, my parents were summoned to the school because I was beating up my classmates,” she said.  

On another occasion, during New Year preparations, Maxim didn’t understand why the girls were decorating the classroom by cutting out snowflakes, while she had to help move around desks with the boys. “I wanted to cut out snowflakes, you know?” she said.  

Though Maxim didn’t realize it at the time, these were early signs of gender dysphoria, the psychological distress experienced when a person’s gender identity does not align with their sex assigned at birth. 

“I definitely felt uncomfortable, but I was raised to handle difficulties,” she said.  

Because of Maxim’s frequent conflicts with classmates, his parents decided on a change of environment and enrolled him in the Suvorov Military School in the city of Ulyanovsk. Maxim did not oppose their decision, hoping to turn over a new leaf.

“I thought I would start life with a clean slate. That meant I’d hide all my impulses somewhere, just tuck them away, and behave as I should, as society expected me to,” she recalled thinking at the time. 

Military service ran deep in her family. Many relatives on both sides served, and from a young age Maxim dreamed of following in their footsteps.  

But military school presented its own challenges, as Maxim tried to fit into a rigidly defined masculine environment while privately contending with feelings of being a fish out of water. In the end, his personal charisma and willingness to work hard won the respect of his peers.  

“Many homophobic people in my circle forgave me for this,” she said, referring to her inability to act like a stereotypical male. “All my friends respected me. People are willing to tolerate your quirks as long as you’re useful.”

After graduation, Maxim met a girl with whom he fell in love and was able to share his struggles with gender identity.

“We became close, so close that I opened up to her. She said, ‘I accept you,’ and we got married.”

After about two years of marriage, Maxim learned about the possibility of transitioning and started considering it.  

Before Russia banned the process, gender transition required a psychiatrist’s diagnosis of “transsexualism,” the term used to designate a mismatch between an individual’s gender identity and their gender assigned at birth (internationally, the term “gender incongruence” has been used since 2018). Someone receiving this diagnosis could have their case reviewed by a medical commission, typically consisting of a psychiatrist, sexologist, and medical psychologist. Those for whom the commission confirmed this diagnosis were then able to change the gender on their birth certificate, obtain a new passport, and access gender-affirming medical care, including hormone therapy and surgery.

Trans-rights activist and member of the initiative group T-Action Ekaterina Messorosh described the procedure as relatively humane and flexible, even compared to those in place in some Western countries. “One could create a transition plan in a way that was comfortable for the individual,” she said. “For example, first change the documents, or vice versa – start with hormone therapy or other medical procedures, then change the documents afterward.”

In practice, however, there were challenges. Medical commissions were not available in most Russian cities and were mostly concentrated in Moscow and St. Petersburg. Additionally, transgender individuals had to cover the cost of medical treatments on their own. Submitting a case to the commission alone would cost a few hundred dollars. 

“Imagine that you’ve always wanted to become a writer, but you haven’t been able to write because you didn’t know that pens existed,” Maxine said. “Then one day, you find out that pens exist.”   

While initially supportive of Maxim’s struggles with gender identity, his wife ultimately opposed his plans to transition, which eventually led to their separation. “It felt like an existential betrayal,” she recalled. “I still love this person very much, but in the end, living together became a bit unbearable.” 

Maxine harbors no resentment. “I wouldn’t wish on any enemy, let alone a girl, to get into a relationship with a guy, and then for him to announce that he’s, well, a woman. It’s an unpleasant situation,” she said.  

To cope with the breakup, Maxim enlisted in the army.  

“It seemed to me that I would just take a break from all this unpleasantness that had spiraled into a complete family-life hell,” she said.  

Invasion 

In the spring of 2021, when Maxim joined the army, large-scale drills were taking place near the Ukrainian border. Conscious that war might be imminent, he signed a contract with the military to prolong his service. At the time, he didn’t question the rationale or morality of Russia’s potential war on Ukraine.

“I only had one understanding of the situation: if something happens, I have a duty to take part in it,” she said.

She had always considered herself a patriot, though not one shaped by state propaganda. “My patriotism came from family, from an understanding that I love my parents. That the state gave me a lot of opportunities, like education” she said.

In February 2022, Maxim was stationed in the village of Tetkino in Kursk Oblast, as part of a unit focused on military intelligence. By then, Maxim was sure that war was coming but told everyone at home that nothing would happen, to keep them from getting upset.  

On February 24, Maxim’s unit advanced deep into Ukrainian territory, getting within 100 kilometers of Kyiv. Then, due to strong Ukrainian resistance, Russia’s blitzkrieg strategy faltered, and the government in Kyiv refused to surrender. 

“There was a strong reliance on the idea that it would work like it did in Crimea,” Maxine said. “We didn’t achieve what we wanted; they didn’t make concessions.” 

Ordered to withdraw, Maxim feared his unit wouldn’t make it out alive. Despite skirmishes with Ukrainian forces, they managed to retreat without significant losses.   

Maxim later served in Luhansk Oblast, performing tasks she would not disclose. “The risk to life was quite great and constant,” she said. “People performing the same duties died alongside me.”  

Amid the constant danger, Maxim found the hardships and dangers of war were often overshadowed by the inner struggle she had faced throughout her life.  

“There were times when I acted strangely reckless or indifferent,” she said, “while at other times, driven by basic self-preservation, I hid or took cover. In general, it felt like I often had less natural fear or anxiety than most people.”

After a while Maxim opened up with some of her comrades about her identity issues. “When you go through so many difficult things together, you share the most intimate things,” she said. 

Through about a year and a half of service, Maxim was awarded three medals for merit in combat. The one she is most proud of is the Order of Zhukov, a Soviet-era military decoration awarded for exceptional accomplishments in battle.   

“That is a quite significant award; you don’t get it just like that,” she said. “President Vladimir Putin personally signs the booklet that accompanies it.”  

Transition  

In the summer of 2022, while on leave, Maxim consulted specialists in Moscow to confirm a diagnosis of gender dysphoria. At the time, he wasn’t certain that it was the correct diagnosis. 

“It could be that it was schizophrenia or something like that – you never know,” she said.  

After undergoing the medical evaluations, she was authorized to update her identity documents to reflect her female gender. Initially, she decided to postpone the change until after the end of the war in Ukraine, fearing dismissal from the army.  

“They [her comrades] were waiting for me there; there were people who depended on me,” she said. “I feel a calling to fulfill my military duty.”  

She returned to Ukraine and continued serving for another year. By the summer of 2023, when she returned back from a posting, she learned that Russia was about to pass a law banning gender transitions. She decided to act before it was too late. Taking leave again, she updated her passport and birth certificate, changing her name to Maxine Perova.  

She then traveled to Yekaterinburg to inform the personnel department of her military unit about the change. 

Maxine said that her commanders treated her with respect due to her exemplary service record.  

“I have a good reputation: three combat awards and all that. So, no one thought that I was doing this just to avoid serving in the armed forces,” she said.

Maxine asked to be allowed to continue serving in the army, but her request was denied. Russian law categorizes “transsexualism” as a mental illness and considers it to be “incompatible with military service.” Maxine was therefore designated as Category “D” – not qualified for military service – and quietly dismissed for “health reasons.”  

Legislation 

In Russia, the portrayal of LGBTQ+ rights as “Western propaganda” is tied to the country’s confrontation with the West and the influence that the Russian Orthodox Church has on social policy. 

The government therefore frames LGBTQ+ advocacy as something akin to evangelism by a foreign church – part of a broader ideological conflict with Western liberalism, that the state claims threatens Russia’s sovereignty and traditional values. 

The Orthodox Church reinforces this narrative by condemning LGBTQ+ identities as immoral and incompatible with Russia’s spiritual heritage. 

Since 2013, Russia has enacted increasingly conservative policies, starting with a law banning LGBTQ+ “propaganda” among minors. 

This trend only intensified with the onset of Russia’s War on Ukraine. Russian officials have described the invasion as part of an existential struggle – not just as a military conflict between Russia and NATO but also an ideological battle to defend Russia’s traditional values against perceived Western moral decay. 

“When it’s not possible to sell the need for war in terms of a foreign enemy,” said T-Action’s Ekaterina Messorosh, “you need to sell the need to conquer an internal enemy – it’s spies, the fifth column, so-called Enemies of the People. In today’s terminology, these are foreign agents. Second, there’s the LGBTQ ‘perverts’ and other ‘asocial elements.’”

In December 2022, Russia’s law banning “LGBTQ+ propaganda” was expanded and extended to adults, de-facto outlawing any public expression of LGBTQ+ behavior. This significantly complicated the ability of people affected by gender dysphoria to receive qualified assistance.

“Psychologists didn’t know how to attract trans clients in a way that made it clear they could help them while at the same time ensuring they wouldn’t face persecution under the propaganda law,” said Maxim Goldman, the executive director of Translyaciya, a group dedicated to helping improve the quality of life of transgender persons in Russia.  

Finally, in the summer of 2023, Russia passed a law banning gender transitions. Pyotr Tolstoy, deputy speaker of the State Duma and co-author of the legislation declared that, “We are preserving Russia for our descendants, with its cultural and family values, traditional pillars, erecting a barrier against the penetration of Western anti-family ideology.”  

The law was criticized by the Minister of Health Mikhail Murashko, who said that it could lead to an increase in suicides. Other critics, including lawyers and doctors working with transgender individuals, condemned the ban as discriminatory and scientifically unfounded. They also raised concerns about restricted access to medical care. According to Tatyana Glushkova, a lawyer at the Memorial Human Rights Defense Center, lawmakers supporting the law were “rejecting science.” “And not just foreign science,” she said, “which has long been disparaged as ‘reactionary Mendelism-Morganism’ in our country, but Russian and even Soviet science… The parliament not only directly but also indiscriminately rejects the opinion of those who have been in charge of the issue for many decades and understand it. In essence, it is as if the parliament said that Type 1 diabetes should be treated with prayers rather than insulin.”

“After 2022,” said Messorosh, “the opinion of specialists ceased to play any role at all, and the political will became dominant. The propaganda is that everyone must march in lockstep, that we are surrounded by enemies, and that LGBTQ people are second-class citizens – especially trans people.”

In late 2023, the Russian government banned the “LGBTQ movement” altogether, labeling it as “extremist.”  

Civilian Life 

Back in civilian life, Maxine is now studying computer science at St. Petersburg’s ITMO (Information Technologies, Mechanics and Optics University) University, with a focus on machine learning and artificial intelligence. Her status as a military veteran grants her access to free higher education.  

Since leaving the military, Maxine has been undergoing hormone therapy, which has brought noticeable physical and emotional changes. “My breasts started to grow, and my skin has improved,” she said. “Overall, my psychological state significantly improved.”  

In her free time, Maxine enjoys hanging out with friends and sharing her poetry at local readings. She is also rediscovering her sexuality. Earlier this year, she dated a man, but the relationship didn’t last. While she mainly feels sexually attracted to women, she remains open to possibilities. “If I fell in love with a guy, I would date him,” she said.  

As for her future, Maxine is focused on her studies but doesn’t have concrete long-term plans. Despite frequently encountering homophobic people, she handles the situations with confidence. “This homophobia is neutralized by my coolness as a person,” she joked.  

And while she has adapted to civilian life, Maxine misses her military career.  

“Without exaggerating, it’s the world’s best job,” she said, expressing no resentment toward the government for her dismissal.  

Maxine said she sees Russia’s ban on gender transitions as part of a broader geopolitical struggle between Russia and the West. While she doesn’t support the law, she considers it to be a “collateral effect” of Russia’s fight to affirm itself on the world stage and protect its national interests. “It was a hasty and wrong decision,” she said. “But I understand why it was made. It’s a statement that Russia is an independent and strong state.”  

Maxine said she believes the country’s laws against LGBTQ+ individuals are reflective of the country’s societal values. “It’s not about the state oppressing anyone; it’s just how our society is. The state is simply following the trends that society promotes,” she said.  

Rather than dwelling on the policies that ended her military career, Maxine values the social benefits she has received as a veteran. She takes pride in being part of what President Vladimir Putin has called Russia’s “new elite” – those who served in the war in Ukraine.  

After meeting other members of the LGBTQ community, Maxine said she decided she doesn’t see herself as a member. She criticized LGBTQ activists for setting themselves apart from the rest of society on the basis of their sexual or gender orientation. “It’s better to be part of the majority, which is united. You don’t need to set yourself apart from people at large,” she said. 

Because of her service in the army and her pro-government views, Maxine said she believes she is not welcomed by the LGBTQ community. “I don’t fit in with them,” she said. “I am, in a way, part of this mechanism, this big machine.” 

According to Messorosh, Maxine’s statements are part of a “safety strategy” that is quite common among LGBTQ people living in repressive societies. “It may seem very strange that the state is oppressing and declaring trans people to be second-class citizens, but among trans people there are those who understand this ‘patriotism,’ even in this state-driven, fascist framework. To these people, the idea of a strong state seems like something you can’t fight against and, therefore, it is something you have to join.” 

Now banned from legally changing their gender, people affected by gender dysphoria are more likely to experience psychological distress and isolate themselves from society. “We have essentially been erased from the life of society,” Translyaciya’s Maxim Goldman said. “People simply prefer not to go out in public, especially in situations where they are required to show their documents.”

Medical treatment is accessible now only on the black market, where steroids and other hormones are available. “There is a rise in self-administered medical treatment, and it will continue to grow,” Messorosh said. “Of course, that is not safe but still preferrable to depression and suicidal thoughts, in my opinion.” 

According to Maxine, trans people can still live normal lives in Russia. She said she dreams about having a family and raising children. “Unofficially, anything is possible,” she said. “The fact that I won’t legally be the child’s parent isn’t particularly important. Raising a child and teaching them to give socially acceptable responses is difficult but possible.  

“I believe that people with all views should stay in Russia, love the country, be patriots, and fight for what they care about,” she said. “The main thing is that they don’t violate the Constitution or the law, of course.”