Oba-na, Snowden!

The aptly-named Edward Snowden fell on Russia как снег на́ голову (like snow on our head, i.e. unexpectedly).

President Putin was preparing for his September G-20 meeting in St. Petersburg and a bilateral Moscow summit with his US counterpart, but instead of Обама – о́ба-на, Сноуден! (о́ба-на is a Russian междоме́тие, an interjection, used to express dismay or surprise).

Эдик (short for Edward) the разоблачи́тель (whistleblower) hunkered down at the Sheremetyevo airport transit zone after flights to Cuba and Ecuador fell through, turning a quick plane change into a prolonged diplomatic гимор (slang for геморро́й, hemorrhoid) for the Kremlin.

Should we agree to вы́дать (turn over) Snowden to America after he begged Russia for help? I doubt even the drunken Tsar Boris would have gone that far. If one is to be guided by общечелове́ческие це́нности (universal human values), then Сноуден is not a преда́тель (traitor), not even a перебе́жчик (defector), but a боре́ц за права́ челове́ка (human rights activist) who dared to share the секре́т полишине́ля (open secret) that the US is spying on its own citizens and allies.

Indeed, you would think other human rights activists would be hailing Snowden as a настоя́щий патрио́т (true patriot). Yet Lyudmila Alexeyeva, head of the Moscow Helsinki Group, initially said Snowden should be returned and tried in the US if he is guilty of the crimes he is accused of. Alexeyeva, by the way, still holds a US passport, unlike Snowden, who had his ото́зван (revoked).

So it is that Russia has become a ти́хая га́вань (safe haven) for Snowden. The Kremlin, forced to choose between resuscitating the перезагру́зка (reset) and losing face (потеря́ть лицо́), вы́брал ме́ньшее из двух зол (chose the lesser of two evils). Snowden was granted не полити́ческое, а вре́менное убе́жище (not political, but temporary asylum). And, as we know from the Russian adage, нет ничего́ бо́лее постоя́нного, чем вре́менное (there is nothing more permanent than a temporary solution).

By Russian intelligence standards, however, Snowden is not a human rights activist but an инициативник. Certainly not to the degree of the (in)famous John Walker,* who offered to spy for the Soviets on his own initiative, hence the term. And, of course, Snowden is not really a разве́дчик (intelligence operative – positive connotation) or even a шпио́н (spy – negative connotation).

Still, for any разве́дка (intelligence service) this is a no brainer: no need to вербова́ть (recruit) a source на материа́льной осно́ве (materially, i.e. for money) – he recruited himself. No need for risky тайнико́вые опера́ции (dead drop exchanges); no need to оставля́ть усло́вный сигна́л (use an agreed-upon signal) with мел (chalk) to indicate that one заложи́л тайни́к (has made a dead drop); no need to maintain a крот (mole) or аге́нт (agent).

No need for anything like that, because Snowden is like an informer под ключ (turnkey). Of course, our контрразве́дка (counterintelligence service) will need to make sure that Snowden is not a двойно́й or even тройно́й аге́нт (double or triple agent), perhaps through some sort of ко́мплексная прове́рка (detailed check) of him, which might even include нару́жное наблюдениe (surveillance, sometimes simply нару́жка).

Of course, if Snowden finds such a прове́рка to be a violation of his human rights, he can always track down the offices of Moscow Helsinki Group and complain to Lyudmila Alexeyeva…

* Walker is celebrated as the KGB's most successful Cold War spy. From 1967 to 1985, after walking into a Soviet embassy and volunteering his services, he provided the KGB with vital US cryptographic secrets.