Setting the Table

One Saturday night in the Russian city of N, a professor invited a group of people for dinner. Among the guests was a visiting foreign student. “Приходите пораньше” (Come a bit early), the hostess told her. “Поговорим до прихода гостей” (We’ll talk a bit before the other guests arrive).

But, like virtually every host or hostess on the planet, the professor was wildly over-optimistic in her planning. The foreigner arrived to find her still chopping vegetables and looking panicked. The foreigner smiled brightly. “Как помочь?” (How can I help?)

And out comes rapid-fire instructions in what seems to be a weird mixture of Russian and French.

So, in the likely event you are faced with a similar situation, here are some tips on how to be a good guest.

The first thing you’ll probably be asked to do is: Достать из шкафа или буфета… (Get from the cupboard or buffet…) and then there will be a long list that will include: скатерть (tablecloth); салфетки (napkins); тарелки (plates); столовые приборы (cutlery); большие блюда для мяса (platters for the meat); and миски сервировочные (serving bowls). If commanded to get out селёдочницу, that’s a long, narrow glass or china platter for — you guessed it — селёдка (herring).

Then the hostess says: “Открывай правую дверцу — там стекло — достань для водки, вина и воды” (Open the right-hand cupboard door where the glassware is, and get out glasses for vodka, wine and water.) You will open the door and be blinded by the array of glittering glasses. “Какие?” (Which ones?) you ask. The answer comes in diminutives: Стопочки, бокальчики и обычные стаканчики. Descriptive translation: Shot glasses for vodka and cognac, wine glasses, and ordinary glasses for water — стопка, бокал, стакан in unadorned Russian. And then she asks for something else, with an explanatory hint: “И достань фужеры. Всё-таки — день рождения” (And get out the champagne flutes. After all, it is my birthday).

Having gotten everything out, you will then be told by the harried hostess: “Накрывай стол” or possibly “Сервируй стол”; both mean “set the table.” The hostess will take a look, move things around, and then dash back into the kitchen with the command “Возьми блюда и миски!” (Grab the platters and bowls!)

In the kitchen she says: “Теперь — сервировка!” You are puzzled. “Но я уже всё сделала!” (But I already did that!) Сервировка can mean to set the table — сервировка стола — or it can mean to place the food on the platters or in dishes, or even to serve people from the platters and dishes.

Reminder to self: in Russian, context is everything, even at the table.

Нарезать хлеб, переложить салаты, колбасы нарезать и оформить блюда (Slice the bread, put the salads in serving bowls, slice the cold cuts and place them on the platters).

The tricky bit is оформление блюд, which really means “place the meat on the platters in the attractive, decorative way that only I know.”  This is where you say: “Покажите, как хотите.” (Could you show me how you want it?) And then, after a bit of artistic draping of sliced roast beef and ham, ask: “Так?” (Like that?) Be sure to ask: “Что на гарнир?” (What should I use as a garnish?) Гарнир is another multi-functional word. In the context of serving platters, it’s a sprig of parsley or a slice of lemon. In the context of dinner, it’s a side dish. Какой гарнир подаём к утке? (What’s the side dish for the duck?)

When the table is set, the закуски (appetizers) displayed to their best advantage, your hostess will smile: “Красиво! Мы едим глазами.” (Lovely! We eat with our eyes.)

To which you say: “Приятного аппетита!” (Bon Appetit!)