Here is the Bridge - English

Here is the bridge, o’er a calm flowing river,
In which you’d never throw anyone, ever,

In that, so far as the facts of it go,

The water that flows there is simply too low.

Here is the Boris once thrown in this river,

In which you’d never throw anyone, ever,

In that, so far as facts of it go,

The water that flows there is simply too low.

Here is the bag in which rice was once sold,

They put it on Boris’s head, we are told,

The Boris once thrown from the bridge to the river,

In which you’d never throw anyone, ever,

In that, so far as the facts of it go,

The water that flows there is simply too low.

Here is the dacha, from which the bag came,

The bag put on Boris, or that’s what they claim,

The Boris once thrown from the bridge to the river,

In which you’d never throw anyone, ever,

In that, so far as the facts of it go,

The water that flows there is simply too low.

Here’s the guard detail, who must know about

Who it is using that dacha hide-out,

The source of the rice bag, as far as is known, 

The bag put on Boris, before he was thrown,

The Boris once thrown from the bridge to the river,

In which you’d never throw anyone, ever,

In that, so far as the facts of it go,

The water that flows there is simply too low.

Here is the minister who, strange though it be,

Chose the guards’ dubious yarn to believe,

He measured precisely the bridge o’er the river,

In which you’d never throw anyone, ever,

In that, so far as the facts of it go,

The water that flows there is simply too low.

Here’s the Big Soviet’s chief, the top cat,

The guy who knows all about this, about that,

Who grossly infringed all the privacy codes

When he let Mr. Minister make innuendos. 

That very same minister who, strange though it be, 

Chose all of that dubious talk to believe

From guards blaming Boris, or so it was said,

For getting a bag for rice stuck on his head,

A bag later thrown from the bridge in the river,

In which it’s dumb to throw anyone, ever,

In that, so far as the facts of it go,

The water that flows there’s impractically low.

And here is the highly placed big shot Yegory,

Who figures in many a criminal story,

Who feels that the law’s not for him, just the throng,

Who on live TV proclaimed “Boris, you’re wrong!” 

He’s not a big fan of the Soviet’s top cat,

The guy who knows all about this, about that,

Who grossly infringed all the privacy codes

When he let Mr. Minister make innuendos.

That very same minister who, strange though it be, 

Chose all that nonsensical bunk to believe

That, on someone’s orders, made Boris look bad

For wandering around with a bag on his head,

A bag that was thrown from the bridge in the river,

In which it’s dumb to throw anyone, ever,

In that, to surely get rid of some creep,

You’d best find a spot that’s both rocky and deep.

Here we have well-known Raisa, a lady

Who on Boris played a mean trick, at least maybe,

Perhaps with the help of that shady Yegory,

Who figures in many a criminal story.

In order to better pull off their wrongdoing

They went to the dacha that very same morning,

Bringing along an old bag used for rice,

That went onto Boris – not very nice,

The Boris they threw from the bridge to the river,

In which you’d never throw anyone, ever,

In that, so far as the facts of it go,

The water that flows there is simply too low.

So finally we get it, it’s perfectly clear

Why guards told the Minister a tale so darn queer,

And he lacked the courage to check it all out

And rushed to the Soviet’s big chief, who has clout,

And knows how to reframe a tale so each member

Will swallow it whole and duly remember

It’s best not to blurt out objections or slurs,

Just stick out their pocketed middle fingers.