Ending Telephone Hangups

It is impossible to spend time in Russia without picking up the phone. And for the visitor using Russian phones, there are two potential sources of frustration: the system itself and Russian phone culture. Unfortunately, we can’t do much about the infrastructure of the phone system, some of which dates back to before the revolution (!), but we can offer some help on the cultural side.

Russian phone culture, like anything in today’s Russia, is in a state of transition – and yet, the remarkable linguistic hiccup from the past “telephone law” – телефонное право still holds true. This phrase dates to the Soviet era of management when a simple phone call from a properly placed apparatchik was enough to, say, stop a criminal investigation, secure a lucrative job for a Politburo son in the Foreign Ministry, or obtain the best seats in the Bolshoi.

Many innovations in the phone lexicon have been introduced with the dissemination of modern means of communications among “New Russians” (Новые Русские) who moved from using the once-fashionable pager (пейджер) to state-of-the art cellular and mobile phones сотовые / мобильные телефоны. The proper usage, by the way, for contacting someone by pager is: “to drop a message on one’s pager” – сбрось / скинь мне на пейджер. Interestingly, since the pager is usually worn on the waist, inventive Russians have come up with a humorous replacement for “low blow,” now literally a blow below the pager (удар ниже пейджера). Compare with удар ниже пояса. There is also a current famous joke about the son of a new Russian using his mobile phone as a spade in a sandbox. “What are you doing?” his sandbox buddy says. “You’ll break the phone.” “Big deal,” he replies. “Daddy will buy me another one.” “Yeah, but it will take him at least couple of days to buy and register it. In the meantime, you will have to resort to using a pager, ike an idiot.”

Back to some more practical tips. Before you make any attempt to converse по телефону in Russia, there are a few things you should know. Despite a general improvement in phone etiquette, you will still often encounter, in business or other non-personal conversations, a very abrupt and to-the-point manner that you may construe as rude. And you may get hung up on if your Russian is halting. As well, Russians still don’t fully trust the phone lines to be secure (witness the culturally-embedded phrase, это не телефонный разговор). Many still prefer to handle important (and sometimes not-so-important) issues face to face. This said, pick up the phone and start dialing...

There are a number of ways to ask for your intended recipient. In Russian, a phrase such as, “Can I please speak with Ivan Ivanov?” can be spoken in several variants:

Formal: “Попросите, пожалуйста / Позовите Ивана Иванова.”

Less formal: “Будьте добры, Ивана Иванова.”

Informal, though still polite: “Здравствуйте, можно Ивана Иванова?”A blunt можно without здравствуйте is commonly heard but is impolite.

In business, the phrase should be split into two sentences: “Иван Иванов на месте? If you get a “Да,” then follow with: “Передайте ему, пожалуйста, трубку.” (“Would you please pass the receiver to him?”) This phrase is used even if you know the business has a modern phone system and there will be no trubka-passing.

Visitors often err in using the Russian literal equivalent for “Mr. Smith, please.” “Пожалуйста, господина Смита.” Do this if for some reason you wish to underline your status as a foreigner.

When answering the phone, you can use the international “Алло” or the typical and impersonal: “Вас слушают,” literally: “you are being listened to” (still a possibility in this part of the world).

An old-fashioned receptionist working at Aeroflot’s справочная (information service) or at the railway station might simply blurt: “Говорите!” (“Talk!”)

“Говорите!” in a well-cultivated voice is intended to discourage the caller from further inquiries.

If you ask to speak to a particular person and that person is the one who answered the phone, this person may reply: “Он / она / я у телефона.”

There are many ways to be put on hold in Russian: “Подождите, пожалуйста” (“Please wait”), “Одну минуту” (“Just a minute”) and “Одну секунду” (“Just a second”).

Russians are also fond of diminutives and might add the suffix “чк,” as in “Одну минуточку.”

Note however that, to the Russian ear, these forms can sound a bit “sweet” coming from a man.

There is no direct equivalent for the English “to leave a message” or “to take a message.” The closest version is оставить записку (leave a note).

If you want a message to be relayed, you can say, “Передайте пожалуйста, что...” This implies that the information will be transmitted in written form. As you will likely find, however, such записки are rare.

For “He is on another line, would you like to hold?” or “Can I take a message?” Russians would usually say, “Он говорит по другому телефону, Вы подождёте или позвоните попозже?”

The English, “Can I take a message?” is usually given as “Что ему передать?” (“What shall I relay to him?”)

“He will call you back” is “Он Вам перезвонит.” But don’t count on this unless you owe someone a lot of money. Not returning calls is an important feature of Russian phone culture, and in fact, the parting words “Созвонимся!” (“Let’s be in touch by phone!”) is kind of like “Let’s do lunch!” in English. The speaker usually has the exact opposite intention.

The Russian language does have an exact equivalent for “Who’s calling, please?” It is “Кто его спрашивает?” But this phrase can imply that the called party is screening incoming calls. In this instance, if your call is not welcome, you will likely hear “Его нет” (“He’s out,” which could be either true or false). The worst permutation of this has become a set phrase: “He is out and nobody knows when he’ll be in.” (“Его нет и неизвестно, когда он будет.”) This is not unlike the Russian joke about a little boy saying over the phone: “Daddy says he is out.”

Now the easy part. You may be surprised when, at just the point in your conversation when you are preparing to say “good-bye”, the other person simply hangs up. Russian phone etiquette is not big on the sign off, and when business is concluded, Russians will often hang up the phone without formality. Don’t take it personally. However, it is also quite common to conclude with “до свидания” (“goodbye,” literally, “until next time”), or between friends, “пока” (more like “bye-bye”).