Far & Away

As our ursine president-elect, Dmitry Medvedev, was trying out his powers in March, I realized I neglected a very apropos bearish idiom in my last column: медвежий угол (a bear’s corner). This led me to a consideration of what we Russians call (other than медвежий угол) a place in the middle of nowhere – the kind of place about which you might say, “it’s not the end of the world, but you can see it from there.”

Russian has plenty of words designating places remote and repellent. No need to travel to the Far East, just look at a map of Moscow. There is the infamous Орехово-Борисово district, which we humorously call Орехово-Кокосово (from the word кокос – coconut) or a Богом забытое место (God-forsaken place) like Бескудниково or Жулебино (for these, we have the funny appellation Малые Бибири). 

There is the expressive and colorful word for remote places, глухомань. It is from the word глухой (deaf), perhaps because there is deafening silence there (some synonyms are глушь, захолустье). This could be used in reference to a small, provincial town, a провинциальная дыра (provincial hole). 

We also have the beautiful тьмутаракань. You might think it means “dark cockroach place,” yet it has nothing to do with the таракан (cockroach). In tsarist Russia, Тьмутаракань was an appellation for the Northern Caucasus. “Тьма” means много (a lot), тара – stands for земля (land) and канн = конец (end). So Тьмутаракань means “the end of many lands.” Today тьмутаракань simply means an ugly, lugubrious, often distant hole. There is also the not-so-polite (and therefore very widespread) made-up city name of Мухосранск (which could be literally translated as “city of s****y flies”). The beauty of this work is that, morphologically, it sounds like a perfectly normal city name (a complex word with the uniting vowel “o” in the middle; compare with Красноярск, for instance). 

My favorite expression in this realm is definitely край географии (the edge of geography). It is concise, savvy and humorous. Almost scientific. Second best is камыши (reeds), e.g. мы в такие камыши забрались (we headed for the reeds). 

There is also the old expression у чёрта на куличках (in the land of the devil), yet the original version was у чёрта на кулижках, from the word кулижка (a poor land plot). У чёрта на рогах (on the devil’s horns) is in the same category. For example: Где он живёт?” “У чёрта на рогах.” (“Where does he live?” “Oh, at the other side of nowhere.”)

I have my own hard-earned experience with devil’s horn places, having lived six years in the infamous Moscow district of Марьино. Any of the above names would fit for that place. The district is infested with лимитчики (a pejorative for limited-term residents from глухомань) who, when riding the jammed bus No. 641, would spit out their sunflower seed husks (шелуху от семечек) under passengers’ feet, making for an agreeable and unforgettable journey. Still more lovely was the nauseating odor from the Нижние поля area, site of поля аэрации (aeration fields), where sewage was spread and “aerated” before future recultivation. A wonderful place to drive through in a packed bus on a hot day. And then there was the torch from the oil refinery near Капотня. My wife and I would savor the landscape from our balcony, tasting the odors when the wind blew in just the “right” direction. 

While Марьино is not in Siberia, it is a classic bear’s corner situated at the edge of geography, on the horns of the devil, yet it is just a half hour ride from downtown Moscow. In fact, you can get there by metro now. Go on, take a ride out there. I’m sure you will agree that, while Марьино is not the end of the world, you can definitely see it from there.