What's in a Name?

Astrologists claim that first names can have an impact on people’s destinies: a Victor will always be victorious, a Yevgeny noble, etc. Hardcore Marxists preaching the priority of the material over the spiritual might disagree, but sometimes common sense is a factor too.

After all, the most ardent of these materialists baptized their children with names like Vladlen, Ninel or Marlen. Now in their late seventies, the persons carrying these names probably regret their parents’ hasty decisions. Why? Because they are no longer “on the side of history,” so to speak. Vladlen, which at first simply sounds corny, is actually an acronym for Vladimir Lenin. The girl’s name Ninel, as you can probably guess, is just ‘Lenin’ spelled backwards, and Marlen? Marx and Lenin, of course.

So, using more traditional first names may seem much safer. But is it really? The Russian language, as the writer Ivan Turgenev rightly pointed out, is so “great and mighty,” that it can turn the most innocuous linguistic term upside down and make a mockery of it.

For example, if you hear someone say about a girl: “she’s just some Masha” [the diminutive for Maria] (она какая-то Маша), it means she has simple, provincial looks or manners (or both). There is a more positive idiom for Masha too – when someone admires something or someone (usually a girl) with envy because it/he/she cannot be acquired or conquered, he may say: “хороша Маша – да не наша,” (“Masha’s good but she’s not ours”).

Another meaningful first name is Vasya (the diminutive of Vassily). “Oh, you Vasya!” a Russian might say about a hapless buffoon or simpleton. Fedya (from Fyodor) has similar connotations, and yet a common schoolboy дразнилка (tease) is: Федя-Бредя съел медведя (Fedya-Bredya ate a bear). Someone with Vasya-style proletarian looks and manners could also be called a Паша с Уралмаша – Pasha from Uralmash (a huge machine factory in the Urals).

Ваня and Ванёк (diminutives of Ivan) have similar meanings. For instance, someone who does not know his past or shows no interest in the history of his country or family is called Иван, не помнящий родства (Ivan Who Doesn’t Remember His Roots).

If you know someone’s telling you lies or talking sheer bull, you may invoke another name by saying “Мели Емеля – твоя неделя” (“Go on with your idle talk!” – Yemelya is a diminutive of Yemelyan).

There is at least one other idiom using a Russian first name – Kuzma – which became world-famous. Nikita Khrushchev promised the world on many occasions to show the USSR’s enemies Кузькину мать (“Kuzka’s mother” – Kuzka is a diminutive of Kuzma). Показать Кузькину мать means “to give someone a hard time.”

Which brings to mind first names that can be hidden in verbs. For Kuzma is the root of the verb подкузьмить – to do something nasty to someone. The first name Егор, meanwhile, is part of the verb объегорить – to cheat or make a fool of someone.

These two verbs brought infamy to another communist leader, Boris Yeltsin’s sworn enemy, the hardliner Yegor Ligachyov. Democrats supporting Yeltsin’s liberal reforms used to carry banners saying things like Нас не объегоришь и нас не подкузьмишь (You won’t fool us or best us), referring to Ligachyov’s first name and patronymic – Егор Кузьмич.

Kuzmich would very much have liked to send Boris куда Макар телят не гонял – where Makar didn’t send his calves (i.e. a long way away). In general, beware of Makars – in Russian, this first name is associated with poor luck, hence the proverb, На бедного Макара все шишки валятся (A person on whose head every imaginable misfortune rains.)

In the end, Mikhail Gorbachev managed to объегорить Ligachyov, and finally fired him. What Ligachyov and other ousted hardliners still say about their nemesis can be summed up in another name-derived saying, Федот – да не тот (“Fedot, but not the one I want” – i.e. not quite the person we wanted). Gorbachev might reply, “по Сеньке и шапка” (“Everyone gets exactly what he deserves” – Senka is a diminutive of Semyon).

The evasive style Gorbachev adopted in press-conferences and interviews suggests another idiom with two more first names – Фома and Ерёма. Journalists might say about Gorby – “Ему про Фому, а он – про Ерёму” (“We ask him about one thing and he talks about something completely different.”).

Speaking of Mikhails – at first sight this name looks unassailable. But don’t be too sure. Russian kids tease Mikhails, saying “Михаил коров доил” (“Mikhail milked cows”). In Gorbachev’s case this tease was quite suitable – he was once responsible for agriculture in the Politburo. Another expression, “Мишка–Мишка, где твоя улыбка?” (“Mishka, Mishka, where’s your smile?” – taken from a 1950s film soundtrack) became appropriate last year, when Gorby got less than 1% in Russia’s 1996 Presidential elections.

That’s about it for first name idioms. By the way, there are also some great teases with Volodya (the diminutive of Vladimir) and Anton which, unfortunately, we can’t share with you here. They’re not quite printable, but they’re certainly fun and the rhyme’s perfect. If you’re dying to know more, just ask a Russian friend!