Soaping Your Way

Whenever there is a mistake or a typo in Russian Life, it is because the editor has a замыленный глаз (literally “a soaped eye,” meaning one clouded by a layer or soap). Said editor of course must be punished. Or as we say, “ему надо намылить шею” (“his neck needs a good soaping”), or “намылить уши” (same, but for the ears). To each their own. And, in particularly offensive cases, say where an editor overlooks a typo in this column, one might even think (allegorically, of course) that it is time to  намылить верёвку (soap the rope), i.e. to hang the culprit.

Another pejorative soap idiom is Машка с мыловарного (Masha from the soap factory). It refers to a rough-mannered, masculine girl from the countryside. Probably not the sort of girl you might like to be dating your son. By the way, if that son is heading out of the house on a Friday night to be with his Masha, you can ask jokingly, “куда это ты намылился” (“where are you soaping yourself to”)?

When Russian fans are displeased with a ref’s decision they may yell “Судью на мыло!” (“Turn the ref into soap!”)

One other soap idiom is extremely widespread. It refers to a проныра, someone who is extremely pushy and arrogant. We say: он бeз мыла в любую дырку влезет (he can sneak into any hole without using soap). Actually, this is the cleaner version of this soapy phase. The cruder version is not fit for these pages, and likely is not something you would want to trot out at an official dinner or reception. But it is good to know and use among friends, particularly with Russian friends you want to impress.

Actually, junk culture – be it Harry Potter or Mexican soap operas (мыльные оперы) – seems to be slipping through any hole it can find here. Our youth don’t seem to read books or literature anymore, only messages on their мыло (slang for e-mail). Those of us over 35 (a distant signpost in my own memory), however, well remember Korney Chukovsky’s immortal lines, from the poem Мойдодыр: Да здравствует мыло душистое и полотенце пушистое (Long live flavored soap and the fluffy towel). My generation knew the poem by heart.

Kids of all generations love playing with мыльные пузыри (soap bubbles). Yet this childish “toy” has a figurative political meaning. Пускать мыльные пузыри  means to rail against someone, to cast wild accusations or verbal rubbish their way. And, when a strategy or plan falls through, one can say it “лопнул (burst) как мыльный пузырь,” as in this recent quote from the Russian press: “Mikheil Saakashvili’s plan to pose as the victim of Russian aggression in the conflict with South Ossetia burst like a soap bubble.” In cases of premature jubilation or unjustified expectations, we say “не мыльтесь, бриться не придётся” (“don’t bother lathering up, you won’t be shaving”).

When Georgian President Saakashvili’s bubble burst (that he initiated the crisis has been belatedly admitted by Western media), he attempted to avenge the defeat by asking the International Olympic Committee to cancel the 2014 Winter Olympics in Sochi, on grounds that the region is insecure. But this мыльный пузырь also burst; the IOC dismissed his plea as baseless.

Most Russians are offended by Saakashvili’s virulent, anti-Russian tirades, given that Russians and Georgians have long cultural and historical ties (to say nothing of the two million Georgian guest workers in Russia). So when an обмылок (literally, “soap remnant,” not a complimentary term) pretends to speak for all of Georgia, it ruffles Russian feathers.

Some may agree with my interpretation, others may think I should have my neck soaped up. Please feel free to share your ideas via мыло. After all, Russian Life is a journal of ideas…