Promises, Promises

Whenever I start to feel that this column will some day run out of material, I soon stumble over yet another untapped theme. This is not to say this space is guided (entirely) by whimsy, but there is a grain of truth to the joke about the Chukchi song of quiet contemplation: “что вижу, то и пою” (“I sing about what I see”).

But, unlike in the Chukchi joke, what one sees or experiences is just our launching-off point. For instance, all of this talk about the ABM treaty has gotten me thinking about the word обещания (promises), which of course is often paired with ожидания (expectations). A typical dialogue between two Russians might be: “Но ты же обещал!” (“But you promised?!”) To which the other replies: “Обещанного три года ждут.” (“There’s a three year wait on all promised items.”)

When I translated that popular Russian proverb for American friends, they came to love it, and even began to применять его на практике (apply it in practice) with solicitors.

Of course, anyone who hears this proverb feels a bit frustrated and may start to talk of “deceptive expectations” (обманутые ожидания). He may even say “you have led me astray” (ввёл меня в заблуждение). To which the deceiver could respond with the joke about the folk hero Ivan Susanin (who led Polish invaders astray after promising to lead them to Moscow). The joke goes:

“Куда ты привёл нас, Сусанин Иван?”
“Идите вы на фиг, я сам заблудился!”

“Where have you led us, Ivan Susanin?”
“Go to hell, I’m lost myself!”

Of course, the word “promise” also brings to mind Звезда пленительного счастья (The Star of Tempting Happiness), a poignant film directed by Vladimir Motyl about the Decembrists. A lyric from the soundtrack is now a cliché: “Не обещайте деве юной любови вечной на земле...” (“Don’t promise a young lady eternal love on earth.”)

A more contemporary musical reference to promises and expectations comes from Zemfira (see Russian Life, Jan/Feb 2001): “Ожидания – самый скучный повод.” (“Expect-ations are the most boring pretext.”) This line has now become as famous in Russian as the American standard: “I never promised you a rose garden.” And it is the perfect response to those who say they expected something you did not deliver.

While it seems universally accepted that Russians are extremely patient in waiting out promises (i.e. waiting 70 years for communism or 10 years for an apartment), we do in fact have a popular proverb which contradicts this conventional wisdom: “хуже нет, чем ждать и догонять” (“there is nothing worse than waiting about and then having to catch up”). Few of our proverbs could be more apropos of our waiting for prosperity during the last century.

Of course, there are plenty of things to say to those who break promises (of prosperity, missile defense, what have you). For example, you could recite: “Береги платье снову, а честь смолоду” (“Take care of your dress when it is new, but your honor from your youth.”) The meaning is simple: a good name is sooner lost than won. Or you could use the criticism: “У тебя вообще совесть есть или нет?” (“Do you have a conscience or not?”) Beware, however. A quick-witted person could well respond by quoting from Maxim Gorky’s play The Lower Depths: “Зачем мне совесть? Я не богатый.” (“What do I need a conscience for? I am not rich.”)

Not only are we Russians famous for waiting patiently for promises, I think perhaps there is something in us that likes to believe in something, despite “objective” realities to the contrary. Like Alexander Pushkin’s lyrical hero who confessed that “I myself am glad to be deceived” (“Я сам обманываться рад.”). As another Russian proverb has it (by the way, it became the name of a play by Nikolai Ostrovsky): “Правда – хорошо, а счастье – лучше” (“Truth is good but happiness is better“).