Let the Campaign Begin

Spring always seems to bring surprising revelations in Russia.

Crowning mounting speculation about his political successor, President Boris Yeltsin recently intimated that he may throw his weight behind his daughter Tatyana Dyachenko, who currently works on the presidential team. Speaking at the Kremlin’s spacious Palace of Congresses at a solemn ceremony in honor of March 8 – Russia’s Women’s Day – Yeltsin said he is getting increasingly disappointed with the male contenders, none of whom has the right political clout and charisma. “My aides keep telling me a female presidential hopeful has no chance in a male chauvinist country like Russia. Well, I remind you that one of Russia’s most successful rulers was Empress Catherine the Great. It’s high time women staged a comeback on Russia’s political scene ... Women saved Russia’s honor at the Olympics. Why can’t they lead Russia to prosperity in the next millennium.”

Asked whether his plans extend to his grandson Boris, Yeltsin was evasive: “Let’s see how he does with his exams first. Borya has yet to prove himself, whereas Tanya helped me a great deal in running for my second term. With her at the helm of Russia, we kill two birds with one stone:  first, no more rumors about my running for a third term and second we ensure continuity in the course of political  and economic reforms in Russia.”

Meanwhile, across town, in a hastily arranged press conference later the same day, radical Duma Deputy Vladimir Zhirinovsky, flanked by four members of Russia’s nascent feminist movement, offered heartfelt apologies to the “better half” of Russia. “I now realize I have long been suffering from the politician’s disease of boorishness (khamstvo),” Zhirinovsky said, barely holding back tears of anguish. “I have mistreated women for many years and want to now humbly seek their absolution.”

Reporters at the news conference, obviously suffering from the cynicism that is their professional disease, questioned if this conversion had anything to do with Zhirinovsky’s presidential aspirations. “I can honestly see how you could make that mistake, based on my past behavior,” Zhirinovsky replied with uncharacteristic calm. “But I want to assure you, I am a changed man, and I am going to devote the rest of my life to women’s causes in Russia. If that somehow includes a run for the presidency, then so be it.”

Speaking of presidential aspirations ... Alexander Lebed, who is running for the post of governor in the far-flung region of Krasnoyarsk, is rumored to have filed suit in a Moscow court against the Bolshoi Theater. Sources that claim to be close to Lebed said that the candidate felt slandered by the Bolshoi’s staging of Swan Lake (Lebedinoye ozero in Russian). “Lebed feels the Bolshoi improperly stepped over the line between art and reality,” said the source, who asked to remain anonymous. “The  former general feels that the Bolshoi’s staging of Swan Lake  on the very night that he decided to attend the theater was a provocative political act, designed to allegorically imasculate him – a lake [ozero] is a neuter thing in Russian, not in keeping with the candidate’s masculine image.”

A spokesperson for the Bolshoi contacted by phone replied with a wry smile (evident even over the phone line), “I am sorry to hear that the respected candidate did not like the ballet. But the, as we say, Lebed letit k cnegu, a gus k dozhdyu [lit. “The swan flies to the snow, the goose to rain” – Different strokes for different folks.]”

These days, you never know what to believe.

Mikhail Ivanov & Paul Richardson

April 1, 1998