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Get Them Vacs A-Rollin'
June 16, 2021

Get Them Vacs A-Rollin'

“The main condition is that the first shot of the vaccine must be administered between the 15th and 25th of June 2021 at the vaccination points of the Ministry of Health of the Moscow Region. For this purpose, you can choose any drug: ‘Sputnik V,’ ‘EpiVacCorona,’ and ‘KoviVak.’”

– On June 13, Governor of Moscow Oblast Andrei Vorobyov announced a lottery to win a new apartment.
Looking for Elon
June 09, 2021

Looking for Elon

“I think he has already been born. I think he is already in school studying or in kindergarten. And of course, he is not alone. A great country will certainly appear.”

– On June 5, Dmitry Rogozin, head of Roscosmos, on where the Russian Elon Musk is.
Boiling Politics!
June 02, 2021

Boiling Politics!

“The political field lives and evolves, it boils during election campaigns.”

– On Tuesday May 25, Press Secretary to the President of the Russian Federation Dmitry Peskov praises Russia’s political environment.
Tesla Comes to Russia
May 26, 2021

Tesla Comes to Russia

“I think we're close to establishing Tesla's presence in Russia, and that would be great. And more broadly, also in Kazakhstan and neighboring regions.”

– On May 21, entrepreneur Elon Musk announced that the Tesla line would soon make it to markets in Russia, Kazakhstan and other CIS countries.
Not Fit for the Kremlin
May 19, 2021

Not Fit for the Kremlin

“I also don’t know that they would be able to work in the President’s administration. I do not think there is a division in the administration that deals with sports nutrition.”

– Press Secretary to the President of the Russian Federation, Dmitry Peskov
Sputnik V is Quite Alright
May 05, 2021

Sputnik V is Quite Alright

“The fact of the matter is, 80 or 85% of Serbians want the Russian vaccine Sputnik V."

– Down with the naysayers! On May 4, Russian news outlet Izvestiya published a written interview with the Serbian Ambassador Miroslav Lazanski where he explained that, while Serbians choose themselves which vaccine they will receive, the majority would prefer Sputnik V. Remember when The world poo-poo’d the Russian decision to vaccinate without full clinical trials? It looks like not everyone’s complaining these days…

Russia's Days Off
April 28, 2021

Russia's Days Off

“Russian means rested."

– Twitter user @zhenya_indigo appreciated a surprise long holiday for the first ten days of May in the Russian Federation. Earlier in the week, Russian President Vladimir Putin approved the request of Anna Popova, the head of Rospotrebnadzor, when she proposed consecutive days of holiday for Russia’s citizens. In addition to Labor Day on May 1 and Victory Day on May 9, the population will have the fourth through the seventh to rest. “If you think that it is necessary, well, we will do so,” Putin said in response to the proposal.

Kosmonaughties
April 21, 2021

Kosmonaughties

“A**holes. Superpowers do not behave that way."

– On April 13, Roscosmos head Dmitriy Rogozin criticized the U.S. Department of State in a Tweet for failing to mention Yuri Gagarin in a Facebook post that commemorates 60 years since the first man flew in space. Such a pity to forget who got there first.

Hairy Hijinks
April 14, 2021

Hairy Hijinks

“Find someone who’s tall, get him to put on a suit, turn the fur inside out and run around in crowded places, shout so that the tourists will notice – but they won’t catch him. Of course, then you must mark him and let him be silent, so he won’t blurt out anything unnecessary somewhere."

– On April 10, former governor of Kemerovo Oblast Aman Tuleyev admitted to dalliances with a local legend. Ten years prior to his confession, Tuleyev arranged a rendezvous at Azasskaya Cave in the Shoria Mountains with none other than Bigfoot. While the furry darling shied away, Tuleyev was nevertheless charmed.

Trolling Horse People
April 07, 2021

Trolling Horse People

“For those not familiar with the lyrics of this song, I recommend it. It’s some horse people and absolute drivel. I simply don’t understand what it is. What is it about?... Somehow everything is very strange, mildly speaking.”

– On March 31, Russia’s Speaker of the Federation Council Valentina Matvienko commented on the lyrics of “Russian Woman,” a song that the Russian-Tajik artist Manizha, who is known for her feminist activism, will soon be performing at Eurovision.

Malfeasance!
March 31, 2021

Malfeasance!

“I want to note that corruption is an important component of our work. It is far from the only offense, but at the same time it is an evil that we are doing alongside the prosecutor's office, the Investigative Committee, and the FSB. The Rosgvardia is also providing support.”

– In November 2020, Vladislav Tolkunov, head of the Russian Ministry of Internal Affairs for the Bryansk Region, speculated about corruption live on the Bryansk Governorate television channel. Apparently, he had muddled his words, and while attempting to decry corruption he admitted to malfeasance.

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