Thursday, August 04, 2016
Vote for Yogi Cossacks
1. With parliamentary elections around the corner, some Russians would rather cast their vote for a party that doesn’t actually exist. A Levada Center pollon voting preferences found that the fictional “Youth Party” has a leg up on a few small, but legally registered parties. Extant or otherwise, they don’t stand a chance against United Russia’s 57% support rate. But with only 46% of people polled planning to vote, maybe truth is stranger than fiction.
2. Cossacks may evoke images of fur hats, military prowess, and knee-destroying dance moves, but for the Krasnodar region, they’re not only history: they’re also the future. Governor of Kuban Veniamin Kontratyev argued that Cossack education is key for the region’s youth. Cossack trainees will learn to protect the rule of law, provide aid in emergencies, fight drug trafficking, and, of course, foster a deeper love for the motherland.
3. The quick fix for corrupt politicians is a hearty round of sun salutations. At least, after a former superstar of law enforcement was arrested on bribery charges, yoga helped put some Om into his incarceration. Denis Nikandrov, former deputy head of Moscow’s Investigative Committee, was jailed on bribery charges as part of an effort to “cleanse the ranks” of corruption – and his cellmate has given him an even deeper cleanse. Nothing like a downward dog to chase away the greedies.
A spectial section during the Rio Olympics
With the Olympics set to start on Friday, the Russian team has shrunk from 387 to 270 (and counting. But even with so many athletes banned for doping allegations, Russia is still predicted to finish fourth in the final medal count. Sadly, that still excludes weightlifters, track-and-fielders, and more. At least they had last week’s “Alternative Olympics” to show their mettle – even if it won’t get them a medal.
In Odder News
If graffiti is going to happen anyway, why not make a festival for it? That’s what Omsk decided to do, with multiple installations springing up throughout the industrial city.
Graffiti gone wrong: isn’t turning a granite sphere into a Pokéball enough? Not for the rascals who turned Yekaterinburg’s sanctioned Pokémon trap into a Stalinist eyeball.
Before there was graffiti, there was feeding roosters on the steps of your dacha. That’s country life in the early 1900s for you.
Quote of the Week
“Most people in Russia think about Russia, and everyone else steals.”
—Fazil Iskander, the Soviet writer compared to Mark Twain, in a story depicting a dialogue between a Russian (or thinker about Russia) and an American. Iskander is full of such words of wisdom, and we've gathered them in honor of his memory, as he passed away this week.
Want more where this comes from? Give your inbox the gift of TWERF, our Thursday newsletter on the quirkiest, obscurest, and Russianest of Russian happenings of the week.
Which would you rather: be trapped in the Arctic or accused of treason? Okay, not a fun game. But a worthwhile read about the latest in Russian news.
This week was full of wins for Russia: a famous photographer, everyone who watched Putin's call-in, and lawmakers making it harder to get foreign aid. So, a loss for Russians getting foreign aid.
Or, whatever the Russian version of margaritas, mariachis, and misunderstood military history might involve.
Victory Day, marking the 71st anniversary of the end of WWII, was celebrated this Monday. Here are the ups, downs, and nonsequiturs of the occasion.
Russia's physics-defying display at Eurovision. Bullying via dairy products. Plus some saucy presidential pecking – on the lips.
Politicians are people just like us. They get millions of Instagram responses for a lost pet and do folkdances in front of world leaders. Just a day in the life.
Sir Elton John's much-vaunted visit with Putin, Eurovision for kids, setting doors on fire, and other great performances – all in one little week.
The British are out to get Russian values and Russian naval vessels alike this week. Scroll down enough and there's also a cat pic.