The world’s biggest country, in a magazine. Since 1956.
Thursday, April 05, 2018
The world is reeling from diplomatic expulsions and counter-expulsions. But we figure the big media outlets have that topic covered. So, as usual, we aim our focus at the real news everyone else is missing…
1. The (Russian) Empire Strikes Back! Russia’s Foreign Ministry took part in April Fool’s Day shenanigans by proposing a new politically-pointed voicemail message (this was last year, but, sadly, it still applies this year). In both Russian and English (skip to 0:28 for English), the message asks you to select a number to be directed to a particular Russian service. What services do they provide? A Russian diplomat calling your political opponent, hacking, or election interference: take your pick! And don’t forget, this call may be recorded.
2. Some like it cold, some like it hot, and some like it both at the same time. About 15 people cut off a large chunk of ice and sailed it down the River Don for a day, using the sheet to have a picnic, heat a bath, gather round a fire, and even wakeboard. Eventually the ice breaks apart, but the partiers simply move all their things to one side and continue with fireside music. Talk about going with the floe.
3. If at first you don’t succeed, try to fly, fly again. This week the Russian Postal Service tested a drone as part of its effort to integrate drones into its vast distribution network. The drone, which was supposed to travel nine miles, made it less than 100 meters before abruptly veering and crashing into a house. The postal service has vowed to continue with this project, but it’s fair to say: this drone didn’t pass with flying colors.
A giant inflatable matryoshka doll bounced across a parking lot, almost knocking someone out (thankfully, the smaller ones didn’t get out!)
UK Foreign Minister Boris Johnson displayed an impressive knowledge of Dostoyevsky (and Star Wars!) while dissing Russia
Post-apocalyptic prank: Russians “invent” a police dream car, replete with zombie-proof technology
“To request election interference, press three and wait until the next election campaign.”
—The Russian Foreign Ministry’s prank voicemail message
Want more where this comes from? Give your inbox the gift of TWERF, our Thursday newsletter on the quirkiest, obscurest, and Russianest of Russian happenings of the week.
Burger King makes money (its own), broke taxi passengers turn green, and summertime snow. Plus, a ballerina with a backup plan, Borodino, and the Museum of Death.
How to be patriotic to a nonexistent country, get a proper education, and deal with a highway through your house. Plus buildings, bridges, and bratwursts to die for.
Clown horror is horrid for clowns, a ballet scandal on the silver screen, and a pack of protesting porkers.
Heroes who caused deaths, heroes who saved lives, questionable movie heroes, and the heroes who make art and cheese. Which is your favorite?
A record-breaking cake, a robot breaking (conceptions of) art, and a space station breaking international boundaries. Plus, flying cars and how to live on Mars.
The glorious deeds of a famous spy, the smaller deeds of everyday spies, and a whole new horizon for female fighter pilots.
For Putin's birthday, a fake burger, a real burger, and a puppy. Plus, St. Petersburg rooftops, frogmen, and how to bathe in crude oil.
Arcade cars, patriotic circuses, and administrative festivities. Also, some crazy murals, Moscow's transformation, and the secrets of Peter the Great.